Stains That Came With My Apartments

I’ve lived the majority of my adult life in apartments, houses, and warehouses; places that have a colorful history. Sometimes that color is unintentional and a bit dark. Stains. I have lived almost exclusively in stained homes.

Back in Third Ward, Houston I lived in a house. We would throw large parties, it was really cheap.

During college I lived in a house with friends in Houston’s 3rd Ward. It’s a neighborhood that a real-estate developer would ‘call up and coming’ or ‘with lots of potential’ but what most people would call urban blight. But it was really cheap, the neighbors didn’t give a shit about our 200 person plus parties that were a weekly occurance.

There was a stain on the ceiling, above the front door. The stain had a splash pattern. Splatter more so. The stain was black, dark brown. It was from a previous tenant getting shot in the head. Some times flies would congregate on the stains.

My spot in Houston’s Warehouse District had more stains. It had been a gold smelting operation in a past life and came with (among other things):

  • 2 antique guns
  • a giant safe
  • a grocery store bag full of planned parenthood lube and condoms
  • A giant box a fur coats
  • a tanned python skin

Stain wise, we had handprints all over one of the back walls. Probably just mud. I lived in the front room, it was a mosquito trap. The first night we moved in, I was killing the buzzing bastards. The walls and ceiling as a result were covered with a combination of mosquito viscera and my stolen blood.

Now I stay in Oakland. There are no creepy stains in my 2 bedroom 70’s motel looking apartment. The heater is faulty though, so the entirety of my ceiling is smoke stained.

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