Watch the Watch: Aron Solomon’s Watch World April 2016
Lying awake at around 2am, the US Presidential candidates made their way into my imaginings. And, being me, it didn’t take long to consider
“What watch would each candidate wear when they were truly being themselves?”
I preface my thoughts with a picture of President William Clinton the First:
That Bill Clinton publicly wore a Timex Ironman was absurd and the farthest thing in the world from genuine. He did so to appear, impractically, as an Everyman — the kind of person whose station in life had them wear what was then a $22 watch you could buy at Walmart.
The reality, of course, was that Clinton owned multiple very expensive watches and was occasionally caught wearing them until he simply stopped wearing the Ironman.
So this piece isn’t at all concerned with what the candidates actually wear, but what watch fits who they appear to be as people.
Let’s start with the presumptive next President.
Hillary Clinton is a serious person. She is not someone with whom you should trifle. Do not taunt.
She wears a serious watch but I also think that she is fond of a little bling, as long as it’s private bling. I see her absolutely and definitely in a classic Rolex Lady’s Datejust and one with some diamonds. I can’t decide between these two, as I’m not sure she’d prefer the bling on the bezel or only on the dial. You decide.
Next, on to John Kasich.
I think that John Kasich has shown, throughout this election season, that he’s actually a very decent and down-to-earth person. I see him in something quintessentially American, a 1970s Hamilton, a watch that perfectly fits his personality.
Okay. Let’s get to Donald Trump.
This one was easy for me. So much of what Trump is about is inextricably tied to the 80s. He remains Gordon Gekko, just a hyper-politicized version who happens to be running for President 30 years after 80s culture was at its apex.
So there’s no doubt that the real Donald Trump should wear this.
The Piaget Polo. The absolutely perfect 80s luxury watch for Mr. Trump. It screams Trump. It embodies Trump. It. Is. Trump.
So this is Ted Cruz. But, you know, it wasn’t always Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz was, in the parlance of our times, dude, a baller.
So when I imagine Cruz hanging out with the kinds of people I imagine to be his Texas friends, I clearly see him in this.
Two-tone Rolex. Impress your friends and family! I have never in any way been a fan of two-tone watches, but the one that screams power is a two-tone Datejust. I’m not quite sure that he’d be as classic as I hope he’d be, so part of me thinks he’d simply be rocking an all-gold President (pun intended).
Last but certainly not least, the wonderful enigma that is Bernie Sanders.
I allow myself to be deceived into thinking that this Volkspresident would rock a 1970s Timex on a Speidel Twist-o-Flex because, well, this is so obvious, no?
I feel that Bernie also likes nice things. And, let’s be honest, Bernie has worked hard for a long time to actually try to help people in America. I hope that he enjoys wearing a watch as perfect for him as this.
Bernie would look great in a 70s Monaco. In some ways, he is the Steve McQueen of his time. Let the man enjoy a little.
That’s it for April. Hope you enjoyed this little run through my fertile imagination and remember, as always, friends, to watch the watch.