Fear-a stoppable force

Sakshi Arora
Nov 8 · 4 min read

Of all the liars in the world, the worst is our own fears.
— Rudyard Kipling

Fear is an emotion, caused by particular patterns of threat-related stimuli. That threat can be anything. It could be fear of losing someone you hold very dear, fear of heights, fear of speaking in front of public, etc. But these are not our real fears. These are very surficial and the story we choose to tell ourselves and the others. The real fear in each of these cases is something else. Something we consistently avoid addressing and every time we see a threat related stimuli, the pattern repeats itself. When we say, we fear losing someone, we actually fear of being alone and not being loved or taken care of, fear of heights reflect fear of death, fear of speaking in front of the public refers to the fear of being judged. But instead of focusing on the solution and the root cause of the fear , we focus on our fears. We must focus on where we want to go and what we want to achieve and not on what we fear.

By believing passionately in something, you create it. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. We do the same with our fears. When I was seven, I used to fear talking to my classmates; at the age of twelve, I was fearful of attending mathematics class; at sixteen I feared walking alone into a room full of people. Underneath these, lied my fear of being judged, failing and not being perfect. My fears grew with my age until I was twenty. That was the turning point of my life.

Travelling Solo- The first thought which comes to any individual’s mind is that of safety’s, when talking about solo travel . Many people avoid travelling solo because they fear being all by themselves , getting bored and so on. The fear of talking to strangers or making new friends is what keeps some of us tied to our comfort zones. Usually in such cases we make excuses not to do what we should otherwise. We would talk ourselves into “I don’t know the language of that place”, “I don’t know anyone there”, “This is not the right time”, “I do not have sufficient knowledge of that place”, “I do not have enough money”, “I will not get the leaves”, so on and so forth. Fear of unknown is within everyone but what we do with it, makes all of us different. I had the same fear till I was twenty. But now, I have traveled solo to ten states and many places within India.

Yes! India, female, solo travel- I know when we read or think about these three things together, it can be really scary . At this particular time, we can either let these negative thoughts slip in or talk ourselves into the positive side of travelling solo and the possibilities of wonderful things and experiences waiting for us. Remember, the dominating thoughts will define the course of your life further. The first time I traveled solo I was careful not to talk to anyone much but women and men in uniform to seek any help or assistance. But as I traveled more, I started pushing myself more. I ticked off my fears one by one. I would still choose people with whom I am talking to carefully, I would travel safely taking care of body language maintaining a confident front, dressing up appropriately as per the culture of that place and so on. It has been eight years now that I have been traveling solo whenever I get an opportunity to do so and believe me when I say this ,that I wish, I would have faced my fears much earlier.

Solo travelling has not only gifted me wonderful life-long friendships across the different countries (tourists travelling to India) but more importantly, it has evolved me as a person and as a woman.

Sometimes, when I sit with a book and a highlighter in my hand, travelling in a bus enjoying my journey, I look out and ponder, how my life would have been if I would never have been courageous enough to face my fears.

Remember, fear is inevitable, but what you do with it, is up to you.

The voices will always be there in the background, blurring the reality . At that moment, don’t forget to remind yourself that fear is not real and the limitation is only in your head. Now, it depends on what you choose to listen to. The difference between everything and nothing comes down to ‘if’.

Remember, you live young only once. So, take chances and risks and live your life fearlessly . It’s alright if you make mistakes on your way. Don’t regret. Because if you hadn’t made those mistakes, you wouldn’t have known how to make them right.

This is time that you step out of your comfort zone and live the life full of adventures waiting for you out there because that is where the magic happens. Face your fear right in its face and do what is needed to be done. Believe me, once you do it, your life will never be the same again (in a good way).

Sakshi Arora

I love to travel and believes in keep moving and not staying at one place for long. The motto is to explore and know, learn and share, listen and express.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade