Let’s review movie theater etiquette — 5 major points.

Earlier today I caught the 6:15 showing of “The Legend of Tarzan.” The movie is a 7/10 for me. I personally found it entertaining, but it has some silly elements to it, and my willing suspension of disbelief was tested throughout most of the film. Not really worth a full price ticket.

That’s not I’m writing this post though. Today I was once again reminded why I normally wait until a movie has been out for several weeks, because I want to ensure the fewest amount of people are in the theater, thereby reducing the chance I have to put up with the following…

  1. The movie is PG-13, which means the movie is perfectly suitable for all ages, at least according to the moviegoers who bring their extended families to see PG-13 movies all around the country. 
    Some parents brought their 3-year-old to see a movie where, in several frightening scenes, characters are bludgeoned to death by wild animals. The child slept through most of the film, breathing loudly enough to disturb others, and sometimes waking up and crying. In this situation it’s best to observe the MPAA rating and not bring kids under 13 into the theater.
  2. In many, many movies that I went to the theater for, people insisted on whispering comments to each other about their thoughts on the movie. I’d like to enjoy the movie without hearing the expert analysis of the person behind me. If a particular scene is impactful, your comment can break the immersion for me and anyone within earshot.
  3. In many, many movies that I went to the theater for, people insisted on using their phones. There must have been a really important thought they had that they felt like tweeting out. If there really is a need to use your phone, please do so in the lobby.
  4. In many, many movies that I went to the theater for, people insisted on bumping my seat while walking through the aisle. There is enough room. People will move their legs if you quietly say “Excuse me.” Do not try to tiptoe through the aisle. You will only serve to disturb those in front of you.
  5. In many, many movies that I went to theater for, people insisted on chewing with their mouths open. This is not okay. In fact, this may be the worst thing on this list. I do not want to hear you munch on your $10 nachos. This alone will make me want to find another seat far away from you. This isn’t ideal, because my theater has assigned seating, and I will usually pick the back seats precisely because there is no one behind me. You ruin that. 
    You prick.

I just wanted to review these easy-to-follow pieces of theater etiquette with everyone. I like movies. In my opinion, which I respect, the movie theater continues to be the superior way to watch movies. I try to catch as many as I can, but the above etiquette violations make it difficult, you know?

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