Gestalt & IFS Exercise (Empty Chair)

« Meet, Connect & Know Your Inner Critic »

All these Art-Therapy Articles are Human & Soul Created by Shakti Urmila, not the Result of AI Technology.

Fighting & Repressing, the Inner Critic,
is Depleting, Draining & You can’t Win at that Game,
by Fighting it, Blaming it, Repressing it, or Denying it !

There is a Better Solution, that doesn’t Require Sacrificing,
your Dreams, Aspirations, Wholeness, Confidence & Self-Worth !

What if, … the Inner Critic, was
NOT the Problem, but the Solution ?

What if, … Giving a Voice, to the Inner Critic, could Be,
what get you Unstuck, from lots of Unhealthy Behaviors & Relationships ?

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We usually, Perceive the Inner Critic, as the Enemy,
we have to fight, oppose, cast out, … to Be & Feel truly
at Peace, Thriving, Confident & Empowered !
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But in Fact, it can Be the Part, that Really can get us
UNSTUCK & FREE, when it is our Ally & Asset !
It Asks us, to put our Prejudices aside & Connect, Meet it
with Fresh New Eyes & an Open Fearless Heart !

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This Week, will Be All about, Practice & Experiencing, in your Body, Mind, Emotions, Feelings, what it is … to Be the Inner Critic Part (the Negative Voice), the Receiver (Victim of Rude Unkind comments & statements), the Core Self (Mediator & Observer).

IMPORTANT ! Please Note, that if you are Emotionally & Mentally Challenged, not enough Stable & Grounded, Be Kind toward YourSelf,
& Reach out to a Certified Therapist, who can support you with this Process.

You don’t have to do it alone, you can use the help of an expert, who will make your journey Easier, Safer & Gentler … till you Feel Better, Stronger & Able to do it on your Own !

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What is Gestalt ?

Gestalt has been a tool & exercise used in my Art-Therapy Instructor Training.
I have Experienced it, & See how Participants, found Resolution, by the
Direct Experience, of Embodying a Part, they Struggle with & give it a Voice.
As I am not a Trained Psychologist, I let you do your own Research,
& I will Focus, on Sharing, the Direct Experience I had of it, & the Basic Principles I have Learned.

This is a Definition that Resonates with me …

… It generally means “whole” or “form.” It is an idea that views every individual as a blend of the mind, emotions, body, and soul with unique experiences and realities. …

My Own Experiential Definition is …
Holding Space for …
Connecting, Meeting, Experiencing, Embodying, Feeling, Listening

• Internalized Parts within us, that Struggle, are in Conflict,
  Have a Hard Time, Feel Pushed aside … Unseen, Unheard
  & Feel NOT Welcomed, Wanted, Understood.
• Create a Sacred Space, where we Give Time, Space & a Voice
  to these Different Parts, & Listen Deeply, to Gain a Deeper
  Clarity, Wisdom, Understanding, Freedom.
• Let EXPRESS Parts within us, that have never been Allowed
  a Place & Never Feel Free to Express Openly …
  their Needs, Wants, Aspirations, Dreams, Agendas.

It Leads you to …

• SEE, OBSERVE, AWAKE, BECOME AWARE of
  Internal Conflicts, Internalized Relationship Dynamics,
  Emotional & Mental Patterns, How we Identify with these Parts
  & Become them Vs Being the Core Self, which is more Neutral,
  Detached & Dis-identified.
• Experience it in the Body, Experience the Energy,
  Experience the Posture, Experience the Voice
  Experience the Emotions, Feelings, Thoughts, …
  & FEEL … by 100% Be, Embody that Part, to Know it better !
• Experience as a by-product
  Massive Awakenings, Breakthroughs, Pivotal Turning Points,
  Shifts, Changes, Transformations.
• Develop Self-Mastery
• Understand Experientially
  - How it is to Be the Core Self
  - How to Genuinely Feel & Give Compassion to Parts
  - How to Organically, as a Result of the Process,
  Experience Dis-identification, Detachment, Freedom from Parts
  WITHOUT Suppressing, Repressing, Rejecting or Denying them
  BUT by EMBRACING & INTEGRATING them.
• Become a Self-Care Practice
  that Generate Deep Meaningful Healing
• Unfolding Awakenings & Greater Alignment
  that Translate as Change of Perceptions, Behaviors, Attitudes, Mindsets.
• Become a Whole, a Cohesive Cooperative Whole
  that have at Center, the Core Self who is the Authority
  & the Leader … not Parts who Fight for Being in Power !

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What is IFS (Internal Family System) ?

IFS Resonates with me because it is based on Gestalt, but it takes it Deeper
& also because I am familiar with the psychology concept of sub-personalities.

Before I have been introduced to Gestalt during my Art-Therapy Training in my 30's, at 25, I have Studied from Al & Sidra Stone’s Books (The Voice Dialogue . Embracing your Inner Critic . Embracing our Selves) which has been Life Changing & Shifted my Relationship to the Inner Critic forever & for the Best.

… Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach to psychotherapy that identifies and addresses multiple sub-personalities or families within each person’s mental system. …

I am New to IFS, so I can’t say much about it, but as it is based on Gestalt, in Practice it works in a similar way but goes deeper giving you more Clarity & most Important it makes you Feel Whole again. It is also very similar to the Shamanic Technique of Soul Retrieval.

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Read this *article on IFS > psychotherapy
& get familiar with sub-personalities on this website > Al & Sidra Stone

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Here are a Few Useful Basic Principles & Points,
that will get you more Familiar with IFS.

… The Self has many positive traits, according to Schwartz’s model, including the eight Cs and the five Ps. The presence of these traits can help identify how much of the Self is available at a given time and how much of the Self may still need to emerge. … (excerpt from the article on the link*)

The 8 Cs & 5 Ps make you Aware
that you Identify as the Core Self more than the Parts.
They are Precious Pointers that make you Aware of where you Stand.
They are Qualities of the Core Self.

The eight Cs (of the Core Self) are:

1. Confidence
2. Calmness
3. Creativity
4. Clarity
5. Curiosity
6. Courage
7. Compassion
8. Connectedness
9. Cohesion
10. Coherence
11. Cooperation

I will add these 3 last Cs

The five Ps (of the Core Self) are:

1. Presence
2. Patience
3. Perspective
4. Persistence
5. Playfulness

And here are the Main 4 Parts that you will encounter

1. Protectors > Protect you from Potential Pain, Suffering, Shame, Guilt
   the Inner Critic is a Protector
2. Managers > Manage the Crisis Moments & Potential Dangers,
   Establish Strategies to Avoid any Potential Pain, Suffering, Shame, Guilt
   the Inner Critic is a Manager
3. Exiles > the Vulnerable Parts within You
   that Experience the Inner Critic Bully Mode
   because the Inner Critic is their Protector & Manager
   in Charge of their Safety, Well-Being, Survival,
   & that You Belong to Social Groups (Family, Friends, Circles, …)
4. Firefighters > Put down the Fire of Crisis Moment, Tensions, Unease.
   Humor can Be a Firefighter to Reduce, Release & Transform Tensions
   Binge Food or Streaming can Be a Firefighter to Numb Pain
   Physical Activities can Be Firefighter to Deal with Tensions, Pain, …

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You are The Core Self
The Core Self is at the Center,
the Sacred Place that can Hold Space for All Parts.

When you Feel Reactive, Distressed, Disempowered, Helpless, Hopeless.
It is Pointers that, it is the Vulnerable Part who Experiences that

When you Feel Rude, Angry, Full of Aggression, in Bully Mode
It is Pointers that, it is the Protector & Manager as the Inner Critic or the Judge Being There, doing their Job.

When you Access Humour, Consumption Mode, Physical Activities,
Social Media Scrolling, or anything to Distract yourself from Feeling,
in order to Feel better or don’t Feel at all !
It is Pointers that it is the Firefighter that is in Charge Now.

There are no Judgements about these Parts & Roles that are Played,
just use it as Pointers, to Know where you are & stand, being identified to a part & what’s truly going on … which Part is in the Driving Seat & Lead !

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It Grows your Self-Knowledge, Develops your Awareness & Self-Mastery.
Make you Able to Detach, Dis-identify from Parts
& Identify as the Core Self who Sees, is Aware & can Provide Help, Support
to any Parts. As Result, you will Grow in Compassion & Clarity.

Chaos, Confusion, Conflict are the by-Product of You
not Seeing & Acknowledging Each Part within You …
their Different (sometimes Opposite) Needs, Wants, Aspirations, Agendas.

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The Empty Chair Exercise Introduction

Here are some Resources, if you need more Pointers.
The Youtube Playlist
will help you to watch how a Gestalt Session unfolds
& Give you some Reference Points on How to do it on your Own !

I have watched lots of Sessions, during my Art-Therapy Training, so I have seen how they have been Facilitated & how Participants Experience it, in different ways, with different topics at play. So watch the videos, on the playlist, it will help you, to learn how to do it, on your own !

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Here is what You Need for this Exercise & Your Session

• 3 Chairs

OR

• 3 Cushions

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Record it, as a Video (Best), or as an Audio.
Yes I know, it is kind of uncomfortable, but it can provide you,
the Opportunity, to See it, with Distance, therefore See, Notice …

• Body Languages
• Voice Tones Changes & Silences
• from a Physical Distance & Outside Perspective
  which Help You to Become Familiar with & Use to Be the Core Self.

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This Gestalt set-up, is to Let Express Different Parts within You, as a Role-Play, like a Theater Stage. Offering them Space & Giving them a Voice so they can Freely Express their Realities, Perspectives, Opinions, Views, Feelings, Thoughts, Energy, … & what they Want, Need, Expect, Aspire, Aim for, …

Doing so, Expose them fully, Expose the Eventual Conflict they have with other Parts, their Relationships Dynamics, their Fight for Power or Attention, their Places & their Aspired Future Places, Roles in your Life.

You can Role Play, any Part, but here we will Focus on 2 Main Parts :
The Inner Critic that wants to Be the Authority … in Control, Power & Leading Position.
&
The Vulnerable Parts that Feel Attacked, Bullied, Victimized, Submitted to the will of the Inner Critic & its Authority.

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3 Seating Positions….
You, the Inner Critic, the Mediator

Flow with what is happening & don’t overthink it !
It is like Channeling a Part, you let your body-voice-posture-movements,
Be Available, for them to Express through you, … it is not a will, but Be Empty (of You, as identity) & Receptive to them, … so they can use, your physicality, to show you, who they are, how they speak, how is their energy, how they move, …

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There is 3 Positions in this Empty Chair Exercise

• The Inner Critic
• The Vulnerable Part
• The Mediator

Put the Inner Critic & Vulnerable Part, Chair or Cushion, face to face.
Put the Mediator, Chair or Cushion, in the middle, aside, so it can see both position from where he is. It forms a Triangle Position !

Each Time you Change Place (Chair or Cusion) & are in a New Position, you take your Time to Be Available to the Part who will use your physicality to Show up & Express !

You seat for a Moment, Still in Silence & … wait … Feel How this Part Seat, How is its Posture, its Energy, What tones of Voice it has, What it has to say, How it want to Move or not, How it React to Questions of the Mediator & What the Other Parts Express.

You can Record the Questions of the Mediator, so you don’t have to Change Cushion or Chair all the time & can more easily Embody the Part who you Give the Opportunity to Express.

Exploring the Inner Critic Part
& the Vulnerable Part (who Receives the Critics)

Parts are like Characters in a Movie, they have a whole backstory, why they think-feel-behave-perceive as they do, Realities that don’t reflect yours & have different ages which means different levels of Maturity, Understanding & Consciousness.

You can’t Be Mad at them ! They do what they do, for a Reason, & you are here to discover That Truth they believe IN ! Who they are, How they think-feel-behave-perceive, which age they are speaking from, what’s their realities & How they come to perceive the way they do, which events, circumstances, situations, lead them there ! It’s not about Changing them ! It’s about YOU becoming aware of their realities, relationship dynamics, emotional & mental patterns, influences, conditioning, traumas, …

You are like a Detective who Seeks Connection & Exposes their Past, History, Relationships, the Innocent Prejudices they come up with related to some Events, Circumstances, Situations.

It’s not about Changing them, IT’S ABOUT ACKNOWLEDGING them & what they have gone through, therefore GIVE THEM THE VALIDATION they never Received. Validations of their Emotions, Feelings, Understandings, Conclusions … even if that doesn’t make it True ! … It is the Truth of this Part at that age, that Maturity, that level of Consciousness, who Experience that Reality & may be Stuck in a Traumatic Event !

Trauma can be from slight to more severe, for a baby to be left alone in a room without care can be experienced as traumatic, for a child to be constantly compared to siblings can be a trauma, for a teenager to be potentially rejected by the group can lead to trauma … Trauma is Experienced when we can’t Deal with what is happening & make sense of it ! When it is beyond the Maturity & level of Consciousness that can Process it & Give it a Significant Meaning !

This means most of our Internal Parts, at different ages-maturity-consciousness, are stuck in loops that still affect us. Just because they are not able to process the event, circumstances, situations, emotions, feelings … they didn’t Receive the Support to do that & still don’t Receive it … until we get to listen to them … Give them the Care, Attention, Validation, Acknowledgment, Unconditional Love they Needed to Move Forward.

This Part Work is so Deeply Valuable, Healing, Restorative of your Wholeness.
I really Love the Simplicity of it, Just Create a Sacred Space & Hold Space, Connect & Listen, Give the Validation & Acknowledgment, so this Part doesn’t Feel left alone on its Own to Deal with what she can’t Deal with & Process.

You can Be the Angel who stands on their side, holding their hands, bringing Peace & Resolution to a Part who Feel Stuck & in Distress, just by Being Present with them & Change will occur without your will & action to Change. It has a Domino Effect on How you Experience your current Life !

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Both the Inner Critic & the Vulnerable Parts are stuck in Time, in some Events, where they Experience some of these … Shame, Guilt, Pain, Grief, Disappointment, Lack of understanding & making sense of a Situation, Lack of Love-Compassion-Support-Help-Validation-Acknowledgment, …

These are Events, Situations, Experiences … where the Inner Critic & the Vulnerable Part have made Important Conclusions (Strong Statement) that still Impact & Affect how We Live, Behave, Act, Think, Deal with things, Relate with People … but these Conclusions comes from the Past at an age that didn’t have our current Maturity, Understanding & Awareness.

The Inner Critic is a Protector & a Manager, if the Part it Protects is at age 8, the Inner Critic is also at age 8 Establishing Rules, Laws & Strategies of an 8 years old Self. Most of what you have internalized as criticisms have happened in childhood & teenage years, therefore it has the Understanding & Maturity of these Times in your Life, yet it still Defines How you Experience Life !

It’s Time for an Upgrade !
Here is what you can Explore …
Guidance***

• Take a Strong Statement of your Inner Critic like …
  « I am not Beautiful » or « I am not Intelligent » or « I am not Able »
  or anything that is a strong negative statement from the Inner Critic !
• Repeat that Inner Statement several times & try to Remember
  when you hear that for the first time in your Life (which age), who said it !
• Now See in what circumstances it has happened
  & how it impacted you ! … what do you have felt & thought ?
• What was the most important focus, at that age, for that part ?
  (Ex: Belong to the Group or Family or Start your Professional Life or …)
• What was the Pain, Hurt that Experienced the Vulnerable Part ?
• What the Inner Critic came up with as a strategy
  to coop or protect you ?
• Is it still How you Refer to … in similar Situations
  when you hear that Statement. If Yes … Be Kind
  & Become an Angel Presence that Restores Truth, Love & Justice
  not the Interpretations of an 8* years old who didn’t know better & couldn’t do better at that time ! *(or any age that was limited in its maturity & understanding)

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Here is a List of Some Questions
you can Ask to get the Dialogue started

1st Level of Questions

Questions from the Mediator to the Inner Critic >10 min

• What do you want to say about
  - How …………… (your name) is Living her/his Life ?
  - What do you think about her/him ?
  - Do you Think she/he is doing enough ?
  - What she/he must Do Better ?
  (- Which age are You ?)

Questions from the Mediator to the Vulnerable Part >10 min

• What do you Feel when the Inner Critic Said these
  Opinions, Statements, or Criticisms ?
• How do you want to React ?
• Is it Helpful ?
  (- Which age are You ?)

2nd Level of Questions

Questions from the Mediator to the Inner Critic >10 min

• Have you Heard, what she/he has Said & Shared ?
• What does it make you Feel ?
• What do you Think about it ?
• What are you Deeply Concerned about (& are afraid of) ?

Questions from the Mediator to the Vulnerable Part >10 min

• What do you Feel about what has been Said & Shared ?
• What does it make you Feel ?
• What do you Think about it ?
• Can you Feel that the Inner Critic Feels very Concerned, Scared about that & that’s Why it tries to Be in Control, doing what he/she does ?

3rd Level . the Mediator Conclusion

the Mediator to the Inner Critic

• So lots of Things have been Unpacked, Expressed, Seen !
  You have a Now New Understanding & it may has changed
  your Point of View, How you are Perceived & How Useful
  or not are your Opinions, Statements or Criticisms.
  .
  Let that sink in & You may want to Continue with a
  New Conversation with this Part or another Part !
  .
  You can write during the Week till the next Session,
  to Formulate where you are Now & What has Changed !

the Mediator to the Vulnerable Part

• That was Intense & I will let you Feel, Think, Reflect & Absorb
  what has happened & How does This New Understanding Impact You !
  .
  You have a Now a New Understanding & it may have changed
  your Point of View, How you are Perceived & How Concern
  is the Inner Critic about How your Life could Turn out !
  .
  Let this Week give you space to Integrate & You may want
  to Continue with a New Conversation with the Inner Critic,
  to get to Know why he is trying to Protect You from any Sort
  of Pain, Regret, Disappointment or Potential Dangers, Harm.
  .
  You can write during the Week till the next Session,
  to Formulate where you are Now, what is your New Understanding, what is your Take away & Breakthroughs, What has Changed ?

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Weekly Guidance & Homework

Take a Strong Statement of your Inner Critic.
« ……………………………………………………… »
that you Feel Affect & Impact you negatively.
Follow the Guidance (Before the Questions)

Audio Record the Questions on your Phone,
so you can Be more Focus & just hit Play

Give equal Time to both the Inner Critic & the Vulnerable Part
You can use your phone Timer

& Video Record the Session on your Computer (I use Zoom)

Plan for 1h to 1h10

• Guidance***
  (you don’t need to do a video recording of this part &
  can do it another time, means not being part of this session)
  10
• First level of Questions
  20 minutes Session
• Second level of Questions
  20 minutes Session
• Third level . Mediator Conclusions
  5 minutes
• Take Some Notes*
  15 minutes

* It Allows you to Reflect on the Highlight of the Session
& Harvest Insights, Breakthroughs

It doesn’t have to Be Perfect the First Time you do it, your Sessions will improve with Time & will be Easier, more Flowing the more you Practice, you will get how it works & integrate the Structure. Practice leads to Mastery. You can also Practice with a Friend who you trust & share the same hunger to Know YourSelf, Grow & Awake !

Journal next Week, to let the Session Provide you more Clarity, the more you Reflect, the more you Harvest Wisdom & Insights that Grow your Self-Knowledge & Deepen your Awakening Process.

Like the Body has Body Parts that Compose a Whole, We are made of Parts that when they find their Places & are given Space form a Coherent Cooperative Whole that makes Life so Satisfying to be Lived.

• We often Rely on Giving Value & Attention to the Head Part
  Vs the Whole Body & Parts of it
• We often Rely on Giving Value & Attention to the Masculine Part
  Vs the Whole that adds & includes also
  the Wild Feminine Part, Playful Child Part, Rebel Teenage Part,
  Wise Elder Part, Part, Creative Artist Part, …
• We often Rely on Giving Value & Attention to the Personality
  Vs the Whole that adds & includes also
  the Core-Self, the Soul, the Human, the Energy, the Source
• We often Rely on Giving Value & Attention to the Mental Body
  Vs the Whole that adds & includes also
  Emotional Body, Etheric Body, Astral Body, Celestial Body, …

What I Really LoOove about IFS, is that it Focus on Parts, Separate Entities to See, Listen & Acknowledge, for the Purpose of Including them, Making them Participate, Being Part of a Whole …
a Cohesive, Coherent, Cooperative Whole
where you Experience YourSelf Feeling Whole & Complete !

We are a Diamond with so many facets that Participate & Contribute to the Whole !

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I Hope that this Article
provided you some New Light

Invite You to Practice a Brand New Paradigm
Create that Beautiful Empowering New Relationship
with your Inner Critic

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Take Care, Be Well
Feel Loved & Be Blessed
Shakti 💕 💞 💗 ✨

Thank You to Generously
Share this Knowledge Easy to Apply
It can Change Lives & Generate a Positive Impact
to anyone that wants to have greater Relationships
& the Ones who Feel at the end of their rope
for a temporary moment … or now for a long time.

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You want to Know more about me, my Journey & my Background
Read my Bio
You want to Work with me & this Year’s Materials,
Go at the bottom of this page for more Information & Contact-me !

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So … What are your Main
Insights, Aha Moments, Breakthroughs, Transformations
from this Week’s Article ?

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Do you have Questions on How to do your Session ?

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Are you Feeling more at Peace with the Inner Critic ?

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The more you Participate, Share & Interact with this content,
the more you can Reflect, Harvest, Integrate & Embody
the Knowledge I Share, so it becomes your Daily Reality.

Reading is Good, a Great First Step, but will vanish quite Quickly if it
stay a 10 minutes activity, means change & transformation can’t occur !

Participating is Greater, Building more long-term memory
& long-lasting Synaptic neural pathways in your brain !

… in Short, information doesn’t quickly vanish, is & stay temporary
but become an anchored long-term reference point you can access from
where you can think & act from, means change & transformation occurs !

Please Share in the Comment any of your
Questions, Explorations, Discoveries
& How you Feel about the Inner Critic,
its Impact on your Life & Relationships.

Let’s Restore Peace, Balance & Justice within
Build a New Relationship where
you Thrive with Vs Suffer Your Inner Critic.
The Inner Critic doesn’t take any Breaks
So you have to be as much dedicated as him !

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Next Week We Continue …
Moving Deeper & Deeper
into Shifting the Inner Critic

« From Toxic & Destructive to Healthy »

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Last Week We …
Discover & Get to Know

« Your Inner Critic Role, Purpose & Mission »

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There will Be a Series of Audio Guided Sessions released this Year, so You can have more Help, Support & Empowerment for Your Journey, Overcoming … Blocks, Challenges & Feeling Lost, Stuck or Confuse with Your Emotions, Feelings, Inner Critic, Self-Expression.
Want to Be Notified when Audios will be Released & Available, email me !
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Disclaimer

This content is for educational purposes only, if you have any Mental Health issues, please do reach out to a professional & get the support, care you need.

It can allow you to move through everything you experience, much more easier & faster in your healing journey, mental health care process.

You deserve to receive the right support for you to feel better & healthy.