As Best-est, Marquette’s Best-est

* This profile is written from the perspective of a Martian, who is not from the third planet from the sun, Earth.

After three lightyears of traveling, I somehow landed my carrier on this domain known as Wisconsin Ave. in this region known as Milwaukee, WI., the home of the “bubbler”. My first experience was with this human, after discussion I found out the human was of the female gender and known as Best.

Who would’ve know this human would have so much bite.

When asked,” How do you recharge your cells?”

She replied. “ With tequila, tea and sleep.”

When researching tequila, I found out it is a Mexican alcoholic drink made from agave. From a second source, I found out it is the “Spanish word for “I don’t remember doing that.” ”

When approached about what “she” is, this human life form known as Best, rebutted with “ What are any of us?”

Answered like a true Marquette student.

Best continued that she believed that she is a human. She continues to believe that she also has acquired all of the criteria that it takes to be a human. She thinks that she is a member of the female community of this race. From now on we will address her as “she/her.”

When asked about her creator, Best replied that she “ does not know who her creator is.” I followed up by asking her a simple question , “Why?” She responded that she does know the fundamentals of how she was created yet she is unsure about the creator of all time.

Answered like a true Marquette student.

In my debrief I was informed that these humans are unsure of their first thoughts unlike Martians. Best confirmed this by saying her first thoughts were “ not an idea, more so her processing information around her.”

As I looked around all of the humans looked unalike, some the color of the martians, the color of the furry one, Bugs Bunny, the color of the dark one, Daffy Duck and so on. Best explains that the humans all come from different origins but have the same begging. They all have different cultures, backgrounds and beliefs.

She added that they do not all live in peace on Earth and that peace is a figment of their imagination.

Answered like a true Marquette student.

Because humans are only capable of utilizing at most 10% of their brain, she was not able to answer more advanced questions.

By then I seemed to obtain all of the necessary data needed for my report, charged my cells and ended my time with Best, the female human, of the human race, of the population of Milwaukee, Wisconsin:

“ Why is ever’body in the club getting tipsy?”

Best replied, “ Because they have a fake I.D. though.”

Thank you Best, female human, of the population of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, of the Sigma Kappa sorority, second year student at the expensive, private, Jesuit university, a place for higher learning known as Marquette.

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