More Mother Goose for Little Programmers

And the dish acqui-hired the spoon

Bring me my dashboards!

Old CTO

Old CTO
Was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he; 
He called an all-hands,
And he called for the roadmap,
And he called his developers three!

And each developer, she had a fine laptop,
And a very find laptop had she.
Oh there’s none so rare,
As can compare
With the CTO and his developers three.

Why do people keep covering for this guy’s bullshit

GEORGY PORGY

Georgy Porgy, featured in Wired,
Kissed the girls but wasn’t fired.
(Though when the lawsuits were all filed,
Georgy Porgy was exiled.)

ENGINEERING IS VEXATION

Engineering is vexation,
Sales is just as bad ;
The dictates of Design seem quite malign,
And Product drives me mad.

THE OLD ENGINEER

There was a gray-beard engineer,
Whose web-service cost a hundred a year,
To run in the cloud,
But it wasn’t allowed,
By that sour old gray engineer.

FOR EVERY BUG

For every bug that is in our code,
Either it’s new or it’s very old.
If it be new, work till you fix it,
If it be old, never mind it.

TO MARKET

To market, to market, lipstick on a pig,
Home again, home again, jiggety jig.
To market, to market, real product’s a slog,
Home again, home again, jiggety jog.
To market, to market, till bubble is burst,
Home again, home again, tech is the worst.

RUNWAY’S AT AN END

If I’d as much money as I could spend,
I never would cry runway’s at an end;
Runway’s at an end, runway’s at an end,
I never would cry runway’s at an end.

If I’d as much money as I could tell,
I never would cry vaporware to sell,
Vaporware to sell, vaporware to sell,
I never would cry vaporware to sell.