Rejection is good, Rejection for better

Rejection is one of the most painful feelings you can experience in life. All of us have come across this. Many of us know how to handle rejection (and some of us don’t). There are multiple ways by which one can do so. But this post is not to teach those ways. I’m simply going to share a personal experience by which I was taught a way to handle it.

Hi, I’m a guy from the southern part of India, State of Tamilnadu, working as a Software Engineer in Chennai.

I wanted to become a software engineer ever since I was 14. Though I dreamt of being a software engineer I didn’t know the different ways to become one. All I knew then was to join Computer Engineering(CE) after school. Let me note here that I was just an average student at school. In 12th standard (which is the final and crucial year of school) I failed to score enough to get into Engineering in any of the renowned institutions. My scores were too low to get into 3rd or even 4th level institutions. Also my folks couldn’t afford a management seat in any of them.

At this stage, my parents and relatives strongly suggested I let go of CE and take what ever professional course I can get. Though I decided to come out of my Computer Engineering dream, I still looked for other ways to become a software engineer. Coincidentally I shared my situation with one of my teachers and she gave an alternate idea. It was to do a UG science course and then a PG in Master of Computer Applications(MCA). Irrespective of the disagreement of my family I went with the new idea and joined B.Sc. Mathematics. I did my best in my UG and 3 years passed away. Once UG was done, I wrote an entrance exam for MCA. My score was decent enough to get myself into a good institution if not into well renowned institutions.

One such renowned college is in Trichy where most of my seniors were doing their Masters and recommended the same as being one of the best colleges for MCA. They have a process of filling 50% of the MCA seats with management quota before the government calls for counseling, so I applied and I was certain I would get a seat there. It hit me like a nail on my head when I came to know that my application got rejected. I couldn’t take no for an answer unless I knew why. So I went to Trichy,met the Principal and I asked why. The Principal told me that I was the highest scorer of all the other applicants but (out of my over enthusiasm) I copy pasted the marks from the web page and over decorated it in a word document and attached that, whereas they expected the applicant to attach a printed copy of the exam result web page as such. Till then I had never thought that could be a reason to get rejected. The simplicity of the reason and the magnitude of rejection frustrated me and I stomped back home. I felt like I had lost everything in my life(I was just 20). All of my family sighed that ‘if only I had followed their ideas of choosing another profession’. Neither could I defend myself nor could I forget the rejection. One week down the same gloomy line the entrance exam rank list was published. I was overjoyed to see my name in the toppers list. It raised my confidence and I applied for counseling. Based on my rank, I got a seat in an even well renowned institution than the one which rejected my application, in all the aspects.

I would not have got the later if I had got selected in the earlier one. It taught me a big lesson that rejection is for the best. From that point on whenever I get rejected, I strongly hope that I am going to get an even better option. Now I’m a software engineer(just as I dreamt) for 5 successful years.

Fact is that hoping to get an even better option helps you to get out of the pain of rejection much sooner and you start a positive look out for other options.

Rejections will either teach you or help you find your potential or both.

So always hope rejections are for a greater good.

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” 
 ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

To understand why rejection hurts muchhttps://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene