This is Not a Regret List

I don’t regret blaming my brother for all of my faults. If I fell down, I pointed in his direction and bawled. If something went missing, he was the one who took it. If something was broke, he had to take the rap. If he was going somewhere with his friends, I insisted on going along. If I was scared of the dark, it was because he pretended to be a zombie on the lose. He said my eyebrows disappeared when I slept. He scared me with plugs that weren’t in sockets. When he read his text book aloud, he read my name along to make me believe that the text had it. For all that and many more reasons, I love my brother.

I don’t regret that I was not good at math at school or ever since. I remember the day my math teacher at junior school said she was ‘washing her hands off me’ after I consistently failed to show any noticeable improvement in my scores. At home, I was told never to give up on the subject because it would come back and haunt me all my life. I guess no one remembered the calculator then. If my math teacher were around, she’d know that I didn’t have to be good at math to be happy in life. I agree I cannot analyse or evaluate any option numerically but I married someone who does.

This is not a regret list

I don’t regret I was overweight. I really never was. Ask my mom. She made me believe that I would look ugly if I was lanky. I kept ignoring my steady weight gain over fifteen years until a few years back when I decided to do something about it. I would never have appreciated the value of exercise or changing my lifestyle if it hadn’t had an impact on my weight. Now when I hear people say that they want to get back to shape, I know it is possible. It takes effort, time and being mindful.

I don’t regret being a small town girl. I grew up in a secure, protected world where every one around me had access to the same comforts. How we lived has taught me to be content and happy. I appreciate technology, good roads, infrastructure just a little more than people who have been bred in bigger cities. I don’t take anything for granted. I am flexible about living in any city or town.

I don’t regret having had to move home every four years. That has thrown opportunities to get to know people from different cities and cultures. I have been able to get rid of excess baggage each move. Every house I have lived in has been special and I have fond memories of every one of them.

I don’t regret that I never built a career. I have handled multiple jobs in different industry verticals. What seemed like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle all fell into place with the opportunities that came up later. My learning curve has remained steep and I still use the skills from every job that I have handled in the past. I never say no to an opportunity that offers some learning.

I don’t regret not growing up with a pet. When we brought Maxx home, it was my first time as a dog mom. My mom observed that she never knew I had so much love in me to give to an animal. Neither did I. I am glad it was all bottled up, all those years that when finally Maxx came home, he got all of it. After six years, I cannot imagine a life without him.

I don’t regret that I have a poor memory. I think I have taken after my dad. Now when I think of it, I completely understand how dad could sleep soundly every night, unperturbed, because he didn’t remember anything that was supposed to keep him sleepless! Sometimes I am surprised how people remember things that I have said or done in the past while I have absolutely zero memory of it. It is a joke in the family now that my niece often begins anything she says to me with a ‘ I don’t think you remember it at all, but…’



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