What would you do differently ?

If you had the chance…

I recently had to go back to an apartment where I used to live — to collect some personal stuff I had left there. Some clothes, some books and a personal journal I had totally forgotten about.

Reading through the journal brought in me a feeling of overwhelming sadness.

So many inconsequential struggles, so much meaningless pain.

But what struck me most was the total lack of direction.

No goals, no progress, no sense of purpose. Just a fractal sequence of different me’s dancing pathetically at different unsynchronized beats.

I didn’t know I was so clueless. Am I still ? Would I know it if I was ?

If I became a ghost, went in the past and watched every second of my life, how would I feel ? Ashamed ?

Maybe that ghost is watching over my shoulder right now.

At this point, I aim for an “At least he tried”.

Good luck to you if you are trying too.

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