Speaking Out: In Retrospect..

I started and ended my 2017 writing about the sexual harassment and abuse that women face on a day-to-day basis. I don’t make new year’s resolutions, but I am going to keep this conversation going in 2018 as well. As many of you know, I came out with my own story of sexual harassment in the workplace — Come Home to The Patriarchy — in October 2017. What I didn’t know at the time, was the profound reaction it would have across social media, and how it would change me much more than I anticipated.

Overall, the support that came forth — from friends, family, and strangers, was unprecedented, but it also reaffirmed that I did the right thing by speaking out. The inevitable haters and trolls that followed, couldn’t ruin that. I did lose a large number of ‘friends’ — but I guess I can’t really call them that anymore. I’ve learned not to bother with other people’s opinions of me, but I won’t let them derail the truth either. Every day is an opportunity to learn from past mistakes, and hopefully not repeat them in the future.

My harasser is still out there, after having flatly (and publicly) denied all the stories that numerous women (myself included) came forward with. The High Spirits Cafe is still up and running, and people still flock to it as if nothing happened. It’s not surprising anymore, because people will act like they have selective amnesia when it serves their purpose. All the information is out there now, and they are free to make whatever choices they want.

Last year (after the story broke), I was approached by Elle magazine (India) to share why it takes so long for women to speak out — by means of a personal essay. I was reluctant at first, because I was emotionally drained and exhausted, but I knew that it was important to continue to tell the truth. Since there were a lot of questions thrown at me after I wrote Come Home to The Patriarchy, and I’ve done my best to answer them in the article for Elle, which you can read here.

Thank you to those of you who have offered your kind words and support — it means a great deal.

xx

Divya