The Art of Hanging Laundry
Hanging the laundry on the line is an Art all to itself.
I prefer to go for the most economical and efficient means of hanging up the laundry. I check on wind direction, angle of the sun, percentage of UV rays and whether to use one or two clothes pins depending on winds speed. It’s important to get maximum real estate over the garments in aspect to sun/wind ratio in order for drying to be completed in a timely manner. I will only use the dryer if necessary, as in when it’s raining outside, or to fluff up the garments after taking them off the line. Have you ever noticed that people don’t use the term ‘Garments’ any more when describing their garments?
Oh yeah, I hang up my undies without remorse. I mean, they’re just another piece of clothing, er, garments. What is there to be ashamed of? They are a purposeful garment for all guys, in that they lift, support and stop chaffing. I’ve seen guys talcum up the inside of their jockeys after a strapping game of Cricket, what? I can’t help but think how all that talcum, mixed with crotch sweat throughout the day, might feel like pouring ready mix cement down your…, well, you get the picture. “He’s not well hung dear, he’s cemented.”
Towels are always to be hanged vertical, not horizontal as my son thinks. He’s not thinking “efficiency” in the “towel department.” That’s okay, he’s a novice. By the time I’m through teaching him, as he moves out into bachelorhood, the ladies will love him for his charm and economical garment hanging. It’s on my bucket list to make sure he presents himself to the world in a manner that I think is acceptable. Which begs the question, ‘can parents flunk their own kids and make them repeat a year?’
When hanging woman’s undergarments, I think it’s best to bury them between other garments and deep inside the clothesline Matrix. Male undergarments can be displayed front and center in plane sight. Think of it as if it’s another form of marking our territory. Making grunting sounds and kicking the dirt below the garment hanging apparatus is an accepted norm. This should keep the onlookers and pervs well away from your garments.
Sheets are a grey area, as well a the color of most of my sheets. Depending on thickness or thinness, Egyptian cotton, Flannel, or acrylic (why anyone would have acrylic sheets is beyond comprehension!!) you can either hang them full out or folded depending on wind speed and humidity, partly cloudy or partly sunny. There is a difference, I’m no meteorologist but there is a difference. You’ll have to google it yourself, no time here, moving on now.
Hanging winter Duvets, or as they are called in Australia “Doonas”, can be a monstrous effort and may take more than one line on which to support their weight. Hanging them on the line on a warm spring afternoon will give the Down in them a freshness the feathers haven’t felt since being on the duck. Which begs the question, do ducks have Duvets and if so, what kind of filler do they use to keep them warm on a cold winter night?
Have you ever walked by a neighbors yard and the clothes line is in total disarray? If it weren’t for their bulldog, foaming at the mouth and barking for no apparent reason, I would climb their fence and straighten that mass of confusion out in no time. I’d even leave a note asking them, not to thank me, but to follow my far superior techniques of garment hanging. I’d even email them a pdf with my recommendations and strategies. I think that would be the neighborly thing to do.
Another efficient reminder, if you have a private line, is to leave the pegs on the line and not in a basket. This will cut down on the time it takes to hang all your garments, without the fuss of searching for the basket with all the pegs that your child has forgotten the whereabouts to, when you took the basket down to occupy your child when you last hanged your garments.
Maybe someday I will post my pdf on the economical and efficient ways to hang garments for best drying outcomes. In closing, I think I’ve given you ample information to start with for the time being. Remember the old saying, “Too much information can lead to a longer prison sentence” or something like that. Oh, one last thing, please check the weather before hanging your laundry. How many times have you come home from a long days work to find your laundry gone? Only to discover you’re accidentally in your neighbors yard, and upon returning to your house to find the garments are wet with a film of mildew from the late afternoon showers? Yeah, I know. Been there, done that. Rinse, wash, repeat!
