Congratulating Her (Our Everything)

The web page timeanddate.com tells me that on the date of the above photograph, Jee Young and I had been married for exactly 2,757 days. In that time, we were pregnant for 27 months (three little angels, each full term). While I am unprepared to discuss what a “standard” nine-month pregnancy looks like, I know that none of ours could fit that description.
In June 2009 when Kaylee Young became a work in progress, Barack Obama had recently been sworn in as America’s first black president and The Hangover (the funniest one) was the number one movie in America. That season the Redskins rolled to epic wins over the Rams, Bucs, Broncos, Raiders and nobody else on their way to another 4–12 season under coach Jim Zorn and quarterback Jason Campbell. The “King of Pop”, Michael Jackson, died approximately one week after Kaylee was conceived.
We became pregnant with Kaylee in America, but the preponderance of her gestation occurred in the Republic of Korea amid great tension about whether our fiancée visa would be approved by United States Citizen and Immigration Services. The details which led us to be apart during such a special time are beyond the scope of this article. Know that the whole fiasco culminated on December 5, 2009, after my Congressman sent a letter to the U.S. consulate in Seoul requesting approval of the aforementioned visa. I was reunited with my fiancée and inboard offspring on December 7 in Portland, Oregon, where it was 17 amazing degrees that late-autumn evening. Kaylee was born in March 2010 at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. Jee Young nursed her for the first 13 months of her life. The total time from alcohol to alcohol for Jee Young was at approximately 22 months.
Olivia began life in the womb in December 2011 in a place I hope to never revisit: Lawton, Oklahoma. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1 was number one in movie theaters and the Washington football Redskins were storming to a 5–11 record (progress?) under coach Mike Shanahan and quarterback Rex Grossman (why God, why!?). Russian parliamentary elections had just finished being rigged, and Vladamir Putin blamed Hillary Clinton for the large protests that followed. Foreshadowing, anyone?
Prior to our permanent change of station in March 2012, an over zealous doctor at Reynolds Army Community Hospital promised us they could determine our child’s gender at just 12 weeks gestation. After jelly, probe, visual, the doctor congratulated us for creating a baby boy. I assure you my feet did not touch the floor the entire way out of the hospital as I called all my family and friends to share my joy. A couple weeks later when we acquired a new healthcare system in Woodbridge, Virginia, the next ultrasound validated my strong dislike for Fort Sill. My sweet Olivia Jayne was born in September that year. Jee Young spent the final six months of Olivia’s development getting lots of assistance from the amazing people at our local church on Smoketown Road (they have since relocated) while I was in Kuwait. My best planning was off by a day, and I missed Olivia’s birth by less than 24 hours. Olivia was born in September 2012 in Woodbridge, Virginia. Jee Young nursed her for 15 months. Total time from alcohol to alcohol was approximately 24 months.
William Gregory was conceived in April 2015 around the same time I completed battery command in Camp Casey, Republic of Korea. The seventh installment of The Fast and the Furious was tops at the box office and the Redskins won the NFC East that year at 9–7 (more progress?) under first-year coach Jay Gruden and quarterback Kirk Cousins. A few short weeks into gestation, almost 300 women and children were freed from Boko Haram terrorists in Nigeria.
In July that year we moved (again) to Camp Red Cloud, Korea. I was blessed to spend every day of our third pregnancy loving and helping my amazing wife. One month before William’s birth, Jee Young truly became mine forever when she was naturalized as a citizen of the United States of America. The Young Man from Yangju was born in the Republic of Korea in January 2016, six days before the Redskins lost to the Packers in the wild card round. Jee Young nursed him for a Gemedschiew record 18 months, culminating on July 18, 2017. Total time alcohol to alcohol was approximately 823 days, or 27 months and one day.
A wise man once told me to never do math in public, so I used a calculator to determine that, of the aforementioned 2,757 days of holy matrimony, Jee Young abstained from alcohol for roughly 2,225 of them, an astonishing 80.7 percent dry rate. For reference, that’s nine and a half percentage points higher than the Dodgers’ winning percentage this season, and this year’s Los Angeles baseball team is destined to be the greatest of all-time.
I wrote all of these words to say this: Jee Young, I love you. You complete me, and you bring out the very best in me. Your commitment to our childrens’ well being is virtually unrivaled in modern American culture and you have set our family up for success for many generations to come. You are the kindest, most caring person I will ever meet and your sacrifices do not go unnoticed by me. Your burden of being so consistently awesome must be immense, and I thank God for giving you to me. I hope you enjoyed that mojito. You certainly earned it.

