My emotions took a deep dive and ended in a great slam on the floor today.

Just seeing him smiling, talking with other girls and knowing I can never make him smile that way again.. it’s just shit and i feel like shit and i want to melt into the earth and sob forever.

I /do/ want you to be happy, believe me, I /do/. I just have to get over you… which won’t happen fast. And I don’t want to get over you, you still left me with that door open, that maybe we could try again, and you tell me to not ruin the love we had???

But how do we each follow our own paths when we’re still so intertwinned??? It /hurts/ me to be near you, and it hurts a little less to be apart.

Just fuck me right up, i feel like absolute trash