Speaking as a nihilist and a non-believer, my search for meaning is never focused at imaginary beings but in a universal understanding of existence. In this, a challenge I often face — which my other existential friends share with me as well — is the feeling of insignificance living in an infinite universe. Knowing this, sometimes, despite all the good work that we try to do, life can feel worthless or even meaningless. This is something I think about, a lot — more than I should. Though usually it leads to existential depression, lately I have been trying to reason to a better argument. After all, we are responsible for creating our meaning. So, here is what I came up with. …

Dealing with Your Colonized Mind

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unbecoming by artsawuf

One of the quotes from Fanon that Tuck and Yang start their article “Decolonizing is not a metaphor” is:

Let us admit it, the settler knows perfectly well that no phraseology can be a substitute for reality.
-Franz Fanon, The Wretched of the Earth, 1963, p. 45

I think this is an ideal expression for the confused state of being in which I find myself oscillating. For years now, if not decades, I have been struggling to understand and express myself as if I were never colonized. I always thought of this as a postcolonial take on self though, because how could I — a colonized being raised in a postcolonial ex-colony(?) …

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suicide by artsawuf

I was diagnosed (officially) about 3 years ago but I think I have been struggling since I remember my first memories. With usual ebbs and flows, I have reached a point, where I am aware I cannot get rid of it, but I have to learn to live with it. My default is sadness, but my therapist reminds me that I am not my emotions. It’s not that I am sad. I feel sad. But this is not about the background, so I’ll cut straight to the chase.

Here is what I have been doing different that has significantly helped me cope with my…



critical perspectives on technology, literacy, creativity • a colonized child on self-discovery • an artist, somewhere

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