Three months into this new role and I don’t recognize myself. My baby girl is three month old and I have grown as a person, I have learned to see life through a new lens, and my life has a different purpose.
I’ve always been told I have a calming energy, especially when I am around kids. I have been teaching for nine years and have not met a student that has made me lose my cool. The level of patience that came with becoming a parent is unbelievable. My voice is soothing, my demeaner is friendly, and my eyes are kind. I’ve always been approached by kids and I have never known why. Becoming a dad has shed some light to that phenomenon. Kids can feel warmth and will trust those that were born to be real fathers. Becoming a dad has given me new talents: listen with an open heart, apply learned material with my own daughter, and serve as a mediator between adults and children. Life gets busy at times, and we often forget to listen to each other. As I enter the ninth year of my career, I have a new agenda. What do our students want? Forget about what we think is best. Let’s help these students learn their way. Let’s cater to them. For a moment let’s forget about that person sitting in a cubicle somewhere in the city that has forgotten what a classroom is like. One of my life goals is to make kids, with and without fathers in their lives, feel the joy of a loving father. Becoming a dad was not an easy journey for me, but I am here and that chapter of my life has ended. Tears no longer mean sadness, and longing for this blissful moment has ended. I am ecstatic to see where this new role is going to take me and the lives that will benefit from this.
Growing up, my dad always tried his best to let me know he loved me. I grew up in a house where males didn’t show each other love by giving each other a hug or a kiss on the cheek. My dad did not know any better. His dad never offered him a hug, kiss, or a positive comment. The way my grandfather demonstrated love was by having a roof over his family’s head and providing the essentials. My dad clearly saw something wrong with that because, although he treated my sister and I differently, he knew exactly how to let me know he loved me. He was extra gentle with my sister and playful with my brothers and I. He dedicated time to us all, but did not dare play dolls with my sister. Instead, he would build dollhouses for her and gave her any accessory so that she could play with my mom. My dad changed when my siblings and I became young adults. He began to give us hugs and kisses in public because he noticed we engaged in that behavior with family and friends we loved. My dad is a magnificent grandfather. He loves my little girl like I’ve never witnessed before. We catch ourselves talking about being Girl Dads and what he would have changed if he were given the opportunity. Most of the time we agree on the type of dad I will be for my daughter. Although my dad has come a long way, he still has some growing to do. I believe in gender, but I don’t believe in gender roles. My dad is really trying to shake some of his “macho” ideas away from his life. My little girl is helping him see parenting the same way I am seeing it. Gender should not define the outcome of your life. Life is made for living each day to the fullest. If my little girl wants to play sports, she can. If she decides to fly a spaceship one day, she can. If she decides she wants to be the sole provider for her family, she can. She can do anything she wants and whatever makes her happy. My only advice to her is to pay it forward each time she reaches a life goal.
From the day my daughter was born, I made several promises: I promised to hold her hand when she needs me to, I promised to love her unconditionally, I promised to be a positive role model, and I promised her that I will always be by her side. Life is too short and I want her to live her life to the fullest. I want her to ignore my fears because she is brave. I want her to surpass my achievements because she can. I want her to teach me something when the time comes. I only ask her to give me the same level of patience I give my dad as he grows. I too will grow and understand.