What Is WRONG With These People?! 5 Simple Steps to Working With Different Personality Types
Maybe you’re fed up with your colleague — she’s so rude! Or maybe you’re just plain tired of dealing with Mr. ~*Sensitive*~. Either way, my bet is that you’re frustrated and wondering not just what’s wrong with your colleague, but what to do about it. No worries, it turns out that all you need is a little understanding. Understanding of who they are, and how to work with them without losing any of your hair. Just five simple steps will take you from holding your breath to breathing easier.
No Personality Transplants Required (Really)!
You dread dealing with a colleague who is so, very different from you. But with a little understanding you can greatly improve your collaboration and communication. Neither of you (not even that guy) needs a personality transplant in order to work together more effectively — and with less stress.
Five Simple Steps To Working With Different Personality Types
If you want to be more effective and less stressed, follow these five simple steps:
- Pause: Before rolling your eyes or reacting overtly to this? again? — pause, so that you don’t embarrass yourself or alienate your colleague. This will help you be present so that whatever you do next is a choice rather than a reaction.
- Understand: Ask yourself, why is your colleague behaving this way? It’s likely because the behavior is a consequence of her or her hard wiring, stress reaction, or unmet need.
- Don’t Take It Personally: See #2 above, none of this is about you. Remember that!
- Stay Focused on the Problem, Not the Personality: You and your colleague are in the same boat for a while. And guess what…you don’t have to be besties to work effectively together. The fact that you are different is an advantage; you just have to get past any friction you experience in working together (see #3!!). Stay focused on what matters: the problem you need to resolve.
- Communicate Deliberately: Here’s where you have to put your grownup pants on. You haven’t rolled your eyes or been snarky, and you’re not taking “it” personally, so, instead of reacting out of frustration or anger, you are able to choose how you respond. This means using neutral language so that you don’t trigger defensiveness; making requests using the phrase “would you be willing to?”; and ensuring that you articulate your own and understand your colleague’s needs.
Want to learn more? If you’re in the DC area, Register here to join me for:
- October 19 for Working with Different Personality Types
- November 9 for Embracing and Improving Your Leadership Style or
- November 30 for Tactical Leadership Skills
If you can’t make the October 19 program, but would like to learn your Type, access TypeCoach here!