Unchained.

AJ Rundio
AJ Rundio
Aug 24, 2017 · 2 min read

I must have sat on these front steps for hours. It’s quite a peaceful place. The warm glow of morning sunshine cracking its way through the trees onto my front yard makes it feel like everything is going to be okay. Even when things are going to crap, it’s the type of place that gives you faith in the future. Which may sound like I’m overselling the spot, but it’s where I’ve gone during every major crisis in my life just to think to myself. Maybe I’ve grown a fondness for it.

This one decision. I knew this was what I truly wanted, but I still got caught up in the overthinking and all the possible downsides and outcomes; “What if I let everybody down?” “What if my friends and family never talk to me again?” All of my worst nightmares ran through my head at a rapid pace as I pondered the consequences of this one decision. One decision, and it could all change.

What was this feeling? Fear? Guilt? A mixture of those and so much more that culminated in this unending, writhing knot in my stomach?

But then, I just got up and did it. I stopped overthinking and stayed true to what I knew was best for me. And it was simple. Quick even. I drove to school, walked into that room, called my coaches over, and told them how I felt. Sports didn’t make me happy anymore. I told the same to my teammates and that I wish only the best for them. I walked out of school, and I was free.

Going through something like this really opens your eyes and lets you differentiate between the reals and the fakes. The ones who want the best for you and wish for your happiness and those who are only in your life for convenience. And that is a valuable tool at your disposal. It’s worth much more than the cost.

I returned home to gentle and loving parenting, reassuring me that everything would be fine. I appreciated it, but I didn’t really need it. When I climbed back onto those front steps, the same sun shined through the same trees onto the same front lawn.

The same place where I dreaded that situation and almost got buried in my worries was also the same place where I overcame my fears and made the best decision to my life.

I owe everything that I have now to that one moment and to those front steps.

2 years later, and I wouldn’t have done it any differently.

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