Thanks Jacki Ann for your response! I like what you write and fully agree that in this pain and struggle we learn a lot. A friend suggested to me to work on these two questions re identity: Who am I in my own eyes? Who am I in the eyes of my close ones (my image)? In my case there were discrepancies here. What is most true? My own response — or the response from my friends? Seeking outside response has been helpful on my journey to find my identity.