So it’s been awhile since writing here. I’ve had a plethora of information dumped on me in the past two weeks. Since my last entry i’ve learned how to use sass compiling for css styling on a web page. It was extremely confusing at first, now it feel like second hand to me. Something I can use and am incorporating into all of my projects. This is my safe zone within front end. I have an art and design background. This is where my way of thinking thrives and I just get to make shit look amazing. This brings us to where I currently am in the Iron Yard curriculum.

We barely got into how to write JavaScript last week. I think we specifically started on Tuesday or Wednesday. We where handed a clock assignment that almost led to a public break down in our lab area because I had no clue where to begin. We refer to this as the “cliff of confusion”. I totally lept from the edge and nearly plummeted to my death. After sitting down and explaining how I think, my instructor was able to help me break down the process into very simple steps. This helped so much and allowed me to more clearly search out answers on the web when encountering road blocks.

This week we are now actually learning how certain things work within JavaScript. So we have lecture, shit is making sense. Finish lecture and I encounter the cliff of confusion. After having my instructor check how I was doing the assignment, my instincts where right and that gave me the smallest confidence boost. Fast-forward four hours and I feel I am stuck smashing my skull against a brick wall. I’ve clearly done half my assignment flawlessly and everything in those functions makes sense. Now I’m having to create more complex loops with if else statements that are just not computing in my brain. I’ve had one of my instructors explain the same function example to me 3 times now and it’s still not connecting.

The shitty thing about not understanding what I don’t know is having to submit an assignment that will clearly be unfinished. It’s not that I haven’t tried to do what the functions are asking for. It’s that I just seem to not be able to switch my thinking on these…. It’s so god damn frustrating. I fucking hate that my mind is slipping on the slope to “fuck this javascript bullshit.” I fucking hate it because it’s clear I can use it to make things work, just not these fucking exercises.

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