Movie Snob Date — La La Land
Cashier: What would you like to see today?
Movie Snob: La La Land, please. I heard it’s good but I’ll have to see for myself. I was a fan of Whiplash but I thought it was a little overrated. And now, this comes out, and reviews of this one are claiming Damien Chazelle to be the next big director? Give me a break.
Cashier: …. That’ll be $9.50.
MS: Actually, I need two tickets. I have a date tonight.
C: Wow… I’m sure you guys will be in for a great time!
MS: Depends on La La Land.
C: Okay then… $19.25.
Rosie: Hey, Movie Snob! How’s it going?
Movie Snob: Hey, what’s up? Excited for this movie? Excited for this date? *winks*
Rosie: Yeah totally! I loved Whiplash.
Movie Snob: Heh, okay. Let’s just say I’m a little more pessimistic.
Rosie: Yeah, but who cares, should be fun regardless!
MS: We’ll see…
*** They’re get seated and the movie starts. They get about 40% through before Movie Snob opens his mouth ***
MS: I don’t know about this.
MS: I said “I don’t know about this.”
R: What, the date?
MS: No, the movie. It sucks.
R: I think it’s okay. I’m having a good time though!
MS: Yeah me, not so much.
R: Why not?
MS: Well, to get started, the leads can’t even sing. Have you heard the sound mixing? Terrible. God, these songs are gonna make me go deaf. And don’t even get me started on how this is basically a remake of every classic muscial ever. Chazelle can’t get credit for this. That would be like Nolan completly remaking Tim Burton’s Batman. But no, Nolan made something completely different and original. Could you imagine —
Other Moviegoer: Hey snob, SHUT UP! No one asked you opinion on the movie.
MS: Actually, my Youtube subscribers will disagree with you. Do you know how hard it was to get this steady fan base going? They really rely on my feedback and —
R: Hey, c’mon. Let’s just get back to the movie.
MS: No, actually. This man just challenged my free speech in a public venue and I’m going to fight. You know what, BUDDY? I can do whatever I want. I can critique how I want, I talk all I want, I can boo all I want. So guess what I’m gonna do? BOOOOOOOOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOOOOOOOO!
*** Several murmers from the crowd, Cashier enters again ***
C: Hey, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.
MS: What? Not even a warning?
C: No, because you’re an asshole.
MS: This movie sucked anyway, I’m OUT! Rosie, you coming?
R: Nah… I’m gonna finish the movie…
MS: Okay, I’ll pick you up after.
R: Nah… That’s cool.
MS: Why not?
R: Because you’re an asshole.