3 Signs That Self-Judgment Is Getting In Your Way
Let me start out by saying nobody is perfect.
That’s right, NOBODY.
You know those leaders you idolize? They make mistakes.
That celebrity or athlete you admire? They have their off days.
How about those people on Facebook you follow that always have the most positive posts and perfect family pictures?
Yes, they have their own set of challenges too.
It’s clear to see how we can all fall into the self-judgment trap when we compare ourselves with idolized perceptions of others.
Don’t get me wrong, being self aware and improving yourself is a good thing.
After all, the persona you project is how others come to know you.
Insecurity and doubt start to creep in when “who you think you are” versus “how others see you” don’t align.
Once you enter this zone, it is extremely easy to start criticizing oneself.
You know self judgment is getting in your way if:
#1 You constantly compare yourself to others.
“I wish I was more like Jim. He seems to have it so together with his budget and department.”
“Amy has such a fun family. Why can’t my family be more like hers?”
“I would be so much happier if I could afford Larry’s lifestyle.”
When our focus is on everyone else but us we lose sight of who we are.
Instead of trying to be like someone else, or fit into the perfect image of what society wants you to be, spend some time getting to know you.
What do you offer that is unique to you?
What is going right in your life?
What have been your proudest moments?
What are you grateful for?
Happiness comes from within, even though so many think changing the outside and purchasing items will bring them closer to it.
#2 Nothing you do seems to be good enough.
“Me, start my own business? I don’t have enough experience for people to take me seriously.”
“I always wanted to write a book. But who actually would want to read it?”
“I have a good job, I’ve been promoted various times, I have a good team but I feel like such a failure.”
We are what we believe.
If you believe you’re not good enough, you’ll never be good enough.
And guess what? You will be projecting that to others as well.
The key is knowing when you’re “enough.” Not perfect, but enough.
#3 You prevent your own growth. You don’t start or start too late.
“Now is not the right time to move.”
“Someday, when the kids grow up, I’ll be able to pursue my hobby full time.”
“They would never consider me for that promotion. There’s no sense in applying.”
Move over and stop getting in your own way!
If you have a voice inside that keeps telling you to try or pursue something, don’t muffle it. It keeps making noise in you for a reason.
Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
And regret is the worst thing to live with.
When opportunity strikes, and you get “that” feeling, take a leap of faith.
What’s the worst thing than can happen?
Perhaps you don’t get the response you want or it’s not what you expected it to be.
What’s the best thing that can happen?
You find your calling.
You smile because you can say you tried something new and your mind can be back at peace.
“We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.” -Henry Ward Beecher
Look at how far you’ve come.
The challenges you’ve tackled, the insecurities you’ve conquered and the amazing accomplishments you’ve completed.
Not to mention the kindness you’ve given, the people you have inspired (whether you know it or not) and the milestones you have lived through all make you incredibly worthy.
Why compare yourself to someone else when nobody else measures up to who you are supposed to be?
Life isn’t easy.
There will be times when it tests us, for some more than others.
It is when it tests us the most that we need to hang on and believe in our core.
We are each good enough in our own way.
You are the best at being you, nobody else is good enough for that role.
And vice versa.
So stop being someone you’re not.
Stop adjusting to norms that do not align with your values.
And stop pretending to be happy in a role that others think you should own.
That leader you idolize may be a role model at the office, but don’t judge how she acts away from the workplace.
Everyone has a story we don’t know anything about.
It’s not fair to expect perfection from anyone…no matter who they are.
To be human is to have on and off days. The off days make us stronger so we can savor our on days.
Without growth life becomes stagnant.
Celebrate your moments of curiosity.
You may be tempted to judge your thoughts, looks or actions during this phase when in reality, you should be celebrating the ability to have choice.
Perfection is overrated.
Stop underrating yourself and go for what your heart keeps wanting you to do.
Be fearless. Own who you are and love it.
Copyright 2017 Andrea Claudia All Rights Reserved