Unveiling Depths: A Reflection on Self-Identity, Love, and Loneliness in the Film ‘Whitney’

The birth and fall of a superstar, embarking on a heroic journey to find a place to settle and thrive.

“We all long for deep connection and unconditional acceptance.”― Haemin Sunim, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down

Sometimes, even those closest to us can feel like strangers. Whitney’s talent turned her into an extension of her parents’ self-expectations and ambitions. Before establishing her own identity, she found herself living under the weight of the American dream’s expectations, suffering deeply from identity anxiety.

Her upbringing shaped her into a market-oriented personality, as described by Erich Fromm in “Man for Himself.” The market-oriented personality is a product of capitalism, transforming the self into a commodity whose value is determined by the market. It relinquishes the right to define “who am I” entirely to others. Individuals with this type of personality are susceptible to feeling dizzy at their peaks and suffocated in their lows.

The pressure from the public placed immense stress and weariness on Whitney. She started doing things that were not widely accepted, aiming to break free from the fixed, stereotypical image imposed on her.

What once uplifts you can also become your shackles. Yet, without these constraints, are you still the same person? Who will you become?

Her journey of self-discovery entered a phase of self-doubt, a lonely process where she lost the crowd and severed toxic relationships, yet new connections were still in the process of formation.

This phase tests one’s willpower, confidence, and determination. At times, she succumbed to loneliness by returning to past relationships, forgetting the efforts made to escape her previous situation, and even developing addictive tendencies to alleviate the pain of isolation.

Returning to old relationships and succumbing to addiction are like driftwood in a vast ocean of loneliness. Once tightly grasped, it becomes challenging to navigate the path forward.

Scientific research reveals that the feeling of loneliness is part of the physiological warning system. The pain of loneliness ultimately serves to help lonely individuals seek or repair meaningful social relationships. Ironically, its most direct impact is to keep lonely individuals highly alert to social threats (Paradox of Loneliness).

We may be married but still feel lonely, or attend parties yet experience loneliness. Conversely, we can be single, lack friends, or be a monk wandering alone in outer space without feeling lonely.

Loneliness often arises when there is dissatisfaction with relationships or a disparity between expectations of social relationships and the reality of one’s perception.

The trickiest aspect of loneliness is that, to some extent, it not only self-reinforces but can also self-fulfill. The more one feels lonely, the deeper the sense of loneliness.

To conquer this situation, the critical step is to acknowledge one’s own solitude, understanding that solitude is a choice, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

‘Living with the Himalayan Masters,’ a renowned book about the journey to seek spiritual enlightenment is mentioned:

Who makes us lonely? Those who claim to know and love us, or those whom we love, create loneliness and make us dependent. We forget the eternal Friend within.

When we learn to know our real self we do not depend on externals. Dependence on external relationships is ignorance that needs to be dispelled. Relationships and life are synonymous and inseparable. Those who know the Friend within love all and are not dependent. They are never lonely.

Being alone happily means enjoying the constant company — the constant awareness — of the Reality.

What resonates deeply with me is her unyielding determination, even in the midst of losing everything, including what she holds dear, and facing failures that might be unbearable for the entire world.

Despite the tragic culmination of her journey, her story emerges as a profound wellspring of inspiration for future generations.