Glamourized Mediocrity

This blog post was originally posted on ashaelaine.com on August 3, 2020.

When I lived in Philly, I “talked” to a pharmacist. I met Pharmacist Guy once at a St. Patrick’s Day party and we exchanged numbers and text each other one time. A couple months later, I ran into him at my friend’s graduation party and we hit it off for real that time.

He was tall, generally cute, and had nice teeth. He would take me out and cook for me, and he could really cook, y’all (no chicken alfredo). He brought me around his friends and displayed PDA. Now, for those who know me, y’all know I struggle with affection so the fact this guy displayed it in PUBLIC and I didn’t duck and dodge him after showed that I was really trying to be open and “go with the flow” because I do not do affection, even in intimate moments. It makes me uncomfortable. And for those of you judging me about my affection issues, my therapist and I have come a long way regarding that topic.

So what if he would annoy me by talking about how much his ugly Rolex cost or if he kept bringing up how he owns his house? So what if he always found a way to flex and talk about himself? So what if he really didn’t stimulate me? So what if he would hit me up when he wanted to see me but always have a conflict if I reached out to him first? Whew.