This blog was originally posted on ashaelaine.com on September 29, 2020.

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My friend Autumn and I discuss a lot about grown men who only have one pillow on their bed. Now, I am not saying that men, or anyone for that matter, need to have a million decorative pillows laid out on their beds, but at this big age… come on. Support your neck!

Last year, after setting myself free from a man who constantly gaslighted me, owed me money, and made me lose sight of myself, I was introduced to “Power Bae.” He and I went to the same college at the same time, but we didn’t know each other while we were in school. …


This blog was originally published on ashaelaine.com on October 14, 2020.

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“You can’t feel bad for the girl who got hit twice,” was what someone who was supposed to be my “big brother” said to me my sophomore year of high school. I wish it all stopped after those two times. Suffering abuse in high school was no episode of Degrassi. It wasn’t over in an hour or by the end of a two episode special. It was war. Walking through the same halls as your abuser and living in the same neighborhood as him made things more complex and intense. According to kids at school, I asked for it. I knew what I was getting into. I should’ve left. According to him, I made it up. I was crazy. I was a hoe and nobody should listen to me. It didn’t help that Rihanna’s pictures of her bruised face were on the cover of every magazine and the topic for every news broadcast. People thought I wanted attention because it happened to her. …


This piece was originally pusblished on ashaelaine.com on September 21, 2020.

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My birthday is New Year’s Day and every year I say that I want my new year and new age to be filled with peace. I always want peace in my mind, heart, home, and other spaces I occupy. I always want peace to be felt from me. It seems like in the past I would say that this was what I wanted but I wasn’t active in making it happen. I have achieved peace in all these ways, but on a surface level. In some instances, it has only been temporary. For whatever reason, this year and me being 27 has been filled with all the lessons I was once too hardheaded to learn. …


This article was originally posted on ashaelaine.com on August 31, 2020.

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Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

COVID-19 is forcing society to shift in a way that has made people more flexible, innovative, and exhausted. It is magnifying the endless known and unknown issues that humanity is facing globally and nationally, such as racial injustice. During this time, Black people are still being murdered by police and with the instant access to content on social media, these murders are being seen right in the palms of our hands.

Many companies and organizations have used this time to showcase performative support for the #BlackLivesMatter movement by writing cute captions on social media or creating trendy advertisements. …


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Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

This article was originally published on ashaelaine.com on August 24, 2020.

I began going to therapy in 2018 after feeling that my back was against the wall. I said to myself, “Alright girl, you gotta figure something out or you are going to break.” I reached out to my mentor (shoutout to Dr. Melanie Cosby) for recommendations for Black female therapists in the Philly area. She was a licensed therapist herself although she wasn’t practicing, but she had all the connections.

I called around to different places. Many of them weren’t doing intake for new clients. …


This article was originally published on ashaelaine.com on August 7, 2020.

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Video snapshot from WAP music video on Youtube via BardiUpdatess Twitter.

At midnight, rapper, actress, and social media sensation Cardi B released the song “WAP” with thee hot girl, Megan Thee Stallion. Both rappers are Black women known for their sexually explicit yet empowering lyrics, twerking, and revealing fashions. The release of the song accompanied by a vibrant and suggestive music video, sent Twitter into a frenzy reiterating the hatred for Black women who own their bodies and sexual expression.

The song celebrates women being proud of their bosoms, behinds, the joy felt from being sexually active and liberated, and wet a$$ p*$$ies. …


This blog post was originally posted on ashaelaine.com on August 3, 2020.

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When I lived in Philly, I “talked” to a pharmacist. I met Pharmacist Guy once at a St. Patrick’s Day party and we exchanged numbers and text each other one time. A couple months later, I ran into him at my friend’s graduation party and we hit it off for real that time.

He was tall, generally cute, and had nice teeth. He would take me out and cook for me, and he could really cook, y’all (no chicken alfredo). He brought me around his friends and displayed PDA. Now, for those who know me, y’all know I struggle with affection so the fact this guy displayed it in PUBLIC and I didn’t duck and dodge him after showed that I was really trying to be open and “go with the flow” because I do not do affection, even in intimate moments. It makes me uncomfortable. …


This blog post was originally posted on ashaelaine.com on July 27, 2020.

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I always heard that being a strong Black woman was something to be proud of, and I am proud of it; however, the way that strength had been shown to me was always through suffering in some capacity. The constant experience of trials and tribulations, wrongdoings from others, and the compromise of one’s own happiness had found its way into my subconsciousness. …


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Photo description: Non-binary person wearing a white button-down shirt works in an office environment over a computer. Source: https://genderphotos.vice.com/#Technology

With the current climate of the Black Lives Matter movement, many companies have showcased their support through social media posts and commitment to change.

Meanwhile, at some of those very same companies, many Black folks on social media have shared their unfortunate and sometimes traumatizing work experiences.

For some who have been on the receiving end of racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination, they’ve either been reprimanded for sharing their experiences, or haven’t received support from their employers––which does not align with public-facing support on social media.

This is not an experience that is brand new to Black professionals, but it is an experience that should not have to continue any longer. …


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Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

As diverse in skin tone, hair texture, facial features, and every other physical feature as Black people and people of color are, white people, for whatever reason, seem to have difficulty distinguishing the ones they come into contact with, especially at work.

Of course, as humans, we occasionally mistake peoples’ names, and when active attention isn’t being paid, we may not immediately recognize someone’s face; however, it is extremely frustrating (and disheartening) to show up to work every day, work side-by-side with our white colleagues, learn their names, faces, kids’ names, and act fake interested in photos of their pets just to be lumped together with the other four (if we are even lucky to have that many) Black folks who work in the office. …

About

Asha Elaine

I define my own freedom daily. I write fiction. I write my opinions. I am also a full and active member of the BeyHive.

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