The Summer of Two Oh

A recollection of the lessons I’ve learnt over the last few months

This has been a stagnant summer. Perhaps that’s how growth happens best–when you’re held to the ground and have nowhere to go but up.

Generally applicable Things about life I learnt…

at the gym, from my trainer

• I am not competing with anyone other than myself, so when I feel like I can’t keep going, it’s okay to stop.
• Repetition helps, discipline helps, and during this journey, I will fail, but each time I fail is an opportunity to get up and repeat–developing discipline.
• I have to breathe in when it is easy so I can breathe out when it’s hard.
• Wounds heal and that recovery protects you–calluses are protection out of dead skin.
• Care for your body, it is not just a temple it is the ambrosia that occupies temples.

from heartbreak, healing, and therapy

• Communication is a muscle, there are different ways to stretch it, consider how different people like to be communicated with–spoken to and listened to.
• I can only control my actions, not the reactions people have to them. If I am explicit and they misread or misinterpret me, I am not accountable for the lines they blurred.
• Take time for me–it allows for reflection, processing, retrospective appreciation, and constructive dialogue with myself.
• People that want space from me don’t love me any less, they’re trying to love themselves a little more. Also, it gives them time to miss me!
• Falling in Love is deep and intense–don’t discount it.
• Boundaries are hard to establish but crucial–with myself, my schedule, family, friends, pets. But they can change, I decide when.
• There is no rush, I don’t have to make big decisions and find routine, stability, and certainty in everything all the time. Revel in the flux.
• It’s okay to be nostalgic for the past and long for the future as long as I can manage my expectations for the present.
• Active listening is hard but it is so important–silence, physical touch, asking questions, validation, silence. Sit in discomfort.
• I needed therapy to be responsible for my own healing. (There’s nothing as therapeutic as therapy–who would have thought!)

from conducting science-policy research

• Someone somewhere has some piece of information that can help me–ask, reach, inquire.
• Whatever my subject matter is, it is valuable–I’m learning something aren’t I?

from advocacy

• Start at home.
• Be annoying, don’t settle, especially when I’m advocating for others.
• Advocate for myself–no one will do it better.
• Name, name, and name again–perpetrators of injustice and heroes of justice.
• Privilege is fluid. Recognize how my privilege changes as I occupy different environments with various demographic makeups.
• Social media can be an educational tool–use it if, how, when, and to the degree, I feel comfortable.

from Buddhism

• Non-attachment does not mean detachment. Embrace change.
• Fundamentally, I have no one else. I also don’t have myself. There is peace in this recognition.
• Be well myself first before I attempt to uplift others.
• Freedom is derived from authenticity.

from being home

• Family comes from love that is unconditional, with or without blood, from human or animal.
• My body and I are changing, I don’t have to justify those changes to anyone. I also can’t judge the changes or lack thereof experienced by others.

from being away from home–Georgetown

• Borders and oceans aren’t full stops, they’re commas, and my family across America and the world are writing me long run-on sentences I am eternally grateful for. There is always a way to show someone you care.

Exhale, it’ll be okay, just don’t forget to learn like you breathe.