How to Convince Anyone of Anything
Charm Makes the World Go ‘Round
I was interviewing at Snapchat, when a run-of-the-mill behavioral question threw me for a loop. This doesn’t happen often. I literally wrote a book on how to interview.
“If you’re in a meeting with Evan,” the interviewer asked, “how do you convince him that we need to work on your product idea?”
I thought of all the times I’ve tried to convince people that we should go with my idea instead of someone else’s. I haven’t always been as successful as I would have liked.
But the successful times have all had something in common.
This article lays out the following arguments:
- there are three attributes to persuasion: dominance, charm, and logic
- a combination of two of the three is usually the optimal strategy
- if you’re building a company culture, build it around logic
The Three Attributes of Persuasion
Attribute 1: Dominance
Dominance is persuasion by command: “We need to ship this widget!”
Dominance can be enhanced adding a dollop of urgency: “We need to ship this widget, now!”
The good thing about dominance is that you know when it works. Bang your fist, utter a command, and it succeeds or fails instantly.
The problem with dominance is that you require unique circumstances to wield it effectively: positional authority, dump-trucks full of influence, or a culture in which people look for authoritarian leadership.
If you’re not a big enough deal to exert dominance, no one will listen to you, no matter how good your argument.
Telling people who work for you that “we have to do this now,” will get results. Trying that with your peers is iffy. Trying it with your boss is a great way to get fired.
Attribute 2: Charm
Charm is persuasion by relatedness: “We should do this because I’m so likeable!”
The good thing about charm is that it’s self-reinforcing.
If you do what I say because you like me, and then that thing succeeds, you like me even more. I have great judgement! You’ll question me less the next time I ask you for help, which makes for faster group decision-making.
Problems with charm are that it requires significant up-front investment, it’s risky, and it’s inconsistent.
Convincing someone using charm means laying the groundwork a long time in advance, dedicating time to establishing credibility, trust, and a relationship built on reciprocity.
All that work can go down the tubes pretty fast. If you do what I say because you like me, and the thing fails, you’re unlikely to trust me with future decisions, no matter how long we’ve known each other.
Plus, charm doesn’t scale. Not everyone is equally charming, and even charming people are not equally so in every environment.
Work environments where decisions get made based on charm are usually described as “political.”
Attribute 3: Logic
Logic is persuasion by externally-verifiable statements: “A > B, therefore, we should do A.”
The good things about logic are that it’s personality-agnostic, and you can learn from it. Anyone can make a logical argument. Every logical argument includes a mechanism by which it can be evaluated.
If you’re building a work culture, you want your decision-making process to be logic-based. Everyone knows the rules, everyone can participate, and the best ideas will be pushed to the top.
The bad thing about logic is that it can’t stand alone. It needs to be combined with charm to work.
Everyone has talked to a charmless genius. It’s not a great experience.
The Best Combinations
I said earlier that a combination of two out of three of the attributes is the best path to persuasion. But not all combinations are created equal. Some are much more powerful than others. Some should never be attempted.
Straight Fire: Dominance + Charm = Charisma
President Obama oozes charisma. Slow-jamming the news, he gets to put his spin on current events with a hook that sinks deep into your brain.
He got our country back on track? Was it wildly off-track to begin with? He’s not offering much evidence, but I’ve been watching him run the country for almost 8 years now. I trust him, and he’s kind of a big deal. I’m sold.
No Man’s Land: Dominance + Logic = Boredom
Trying to exert dominance while also making a logical argument? Good luck with that. No matter how thoughtful your argument, you’ll come off as boring, condescending…just generally kind of a dick.
If you’re using dominance + logic, you’re probably being lazy. There’s a better way…
The Optimal Path: Charm + Logic = Good Decisions, Fast
You have a well-thought-through argument and you have a track record of looking out for other peoples’ best interests? You might be…the most persuasive person in the world.
This is your best self, and who you want to be at work. You’ll make your teams more efficient and more effective.
Conclusion
If you’re building a team or a company, you want to build a culture in which good ideas can be surfaced by anyone, where the rules of decision-making are obvious and accessible to all — in short — a workplace that’s fair.
Building a decision-making structure based on logic will make sure that your decisions are rational. Requiring charm as well incentivizes even the most narcissistic people to play nice with others, and generally makes for a more pleasant workplace.
Combining the two makes for a successful, fun company. And who doesn’t want that?
