
What studying cognitive incision has taught me is that you don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to be influential. You don’t have to talk over people to be perceived as powerful. You don’t have to monopolize the conversation to appear important. In fact, the opposite is true — Harvard researchers found across three studies “a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking: people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners.”
To use cognitive incision, you must listen closely to the speaker, track their statements, and predict where they are going. The sharpness of your question is absolutely crucial. It cannot be simplistic, easily dismissed, or nominal. It should be relevant and well-timed. Maybe humorous. It should go off like a curiosity detonator in people’s minds.
…to impress, and it can be difficult to get a word in. This scenario is ripe for cognitive incision. If someone is monopolizing the conversation, lob a question over to the boss directly or to someone else in the group, asking for their take on the topic at hand (“Yes, that’s interesting, Steve, but Danielle, I’m curious what your thoughts are on this.”) The boss will not only notice your thoughtfulness, but also your assertiveness.