He Knows My Name

I wrote my grad night testimony surrounding the meaning of the song, so I’ll just paste my testimony here :P

Hi, my name is Peter, and I want to share my testimony with you. It’s about my name.

When I was a kid who recently immigrated from China, my parents had to choose an English name because the daycare workers couldn’t pronounce my Chinese name. So, randomly, they chose “Peter.” From that moment on, my name became a thorn. I wasn’t legally called “Peter” until sometime in high school, so teachers would always struggle to say my Chinese name before I told them I had another one. I wasn’t very popular, so often the only people who would actually say my name were my parents and closest friends. But that was okay. I wasn’t really obsessed with being popular at the time, and I carried on with life.

High school changed how I viewed my name. Someone else was called Peter, and everyone liked him more. Whenever someone said “Peter,” it wasn’t for me. Soon, I stopped responding to those calls. The same happened a few years ago. Someone else was called Peter, and everyone liked him more. It made me wonder why I was called Peter.

Peter was one of Jesus’ disciples in the Bible who always made mistakes, got rebuked by Jesus, and even denied Jesus, but eventually became an amazing apostle for Jesus. In some ways, I felt like Peter in the Bible, but I could not relate to his future fame. He was loved by so many people, prayed for by people (Acts 12:5), a pillar for the early church (Galatians 2:9), and the one recommissioned by Jesus to do His ministry (John 21:15–19).

But I always felt like a subpar Peter. I felt like people rejected me, friends rejected me, and maybe even God rejected me. Maybe He was looking for another Peter to do His ministry and to follow Him. Maybe I’m not cut out to be His.

But God is such a God of mercy and love. The four years in University of Michigan and HMCC have been anything but smooth, but they revealed so much of God’s heart for me. He has called me His not because I’m the second-wheeling Peter during those periods of my life, but because I’m Peter Sun, the one Peter Sun so wholly and dearly loved by Him. He pursued me and pursues me every day to the point where I don’t understand why. I still don’t understand why. But His affirmation of my identity in Him is healing me so I can trust in a name once given only because I needed an English name, once spoken in the wind for others with the same name, and once something that shattered my identity in myself. But slowly, He is giving me a greater identity.

Because He knows my name.

Peter

I don’t need my name in lights
I’m famous in my Father’s eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I’m not living for applause
I’m already so adored
It’s all His stage
He knows my name

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