AVs ARE COMING

AVs — The Whitewalkers of advertising consume all in their path. They’re all pale. All alike. All deadly. They come during a pitch, a sales conference or a global internal review. But standing in these Whitewalkers’ path are a series of junior Jon Snows from creative and servicing, who indeed know nothing.

THE NIGHT’S WATCH

Usually past midnight, they get a call that AVs are on their way, and they have to fight the night and come out victorious. AVs come in aplenty, but soldiers, just two. Now every agency has a night’s watch, and they’ve given their life to these AVs, sacrificing all the pleasures in life. This is their oath.

THE OATH

Footage gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until morning. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die in the studios. I am awake in the darkness. I am the watcher on the supers. I am the fire of the cigarette, the lighter that ignites the same, the alarm that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of seniors. I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.

PITCHING FOR THE IRON THRONE

The client has dethroned the existing agency. And now 7 kingdoms have been invited for the pitch. All with different strategic and creative thinking. But one common weapon — Brand AV. Now the client has asked for an empowering communication, championed by women. So the creative head, Ramsay Bolton, pens down a typical uplifting narrative and hands it over to Theon Greyjoy at 1 30am to get it done. Shortchanged for time, Theon smokes his way to the studio. Reeking of disgust, he and the other Theons in the other agencies, go through to the same footage available on YouTube, and cut the same AV, albeit with a different track. The lords, then armed with this limp weapon, charge towards the throne with their armies.

MOTHER OF AVs (SALES AVs feat. Dragons)

A war cry silences an outcry. And this is true when it comes to Sales AVs. The agency creative, a senior one, as per client’s request is asked to write a Khaleesi speech that will make their sales Dorthraki force believe in revolution. Her outcry is silenced by the need to create a war cry. So, armed with footage from war movies, shady supers, graphs, numbers, dragon fire revealing product, she aims to be the Khaleesi. But in Stark contrast, she’s stabbed by the client and is asked to maintain the essence and make it more Wasseypur. The creative wonders, now only if dragons were real.

KING’S LANDING

You’re happy in your little kingdom, some Counter Striking, some drooling over Pitts and Demons, when a scroll comes to your office, the international client is coming, and we need AVs on each and every brand. And when a message comes from King’s Landing, everyone in the agency region bends down, puts their tongue out, more in service than honour. After all, at the end of the year, ‘Ratings Are Coming’. Mock shoots, recordings, re-edits, re-runs, new AVs, it’s when the agency becomes the Unsullied — a group with no balls. In the effort to win over the King, it loses its people.

AVs continue to be thankless. It’s a world held together by junior associates and small studios. It’s almost like AVs were conceptualized by George RR Martin, where every season, a few talented promising juniors, the favourite characters get killed. These AVs don’t make it to your CV.

They just make the cut.

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