IVF is the only option we have at completing our family…
My name is Ashley. I graduated from college and earned a degree to do what I love doing: teaching children. I love being around children. This is a blog about the life experiences I have had, the ups and the downs, and most importantly, the challenge I am facing right now.
I’ve always hoped to have a house full of kids. However, unlike many of my peers, I didn’t start having kids early: I decided to remain humble and use my talents to get me further in life before I grew my family. From high school I went to college on a track and field scholarship. I attended the University of Miami, where I was a sprinter. During this time, I was able to have a beautiful son, come back from a rectus femoris complete tear (which I was told I wouldn’t run again, but won ACC 60 meter dash at the indoor conference championship) and manage my life as a student. This was an exciting time for me, but I realized I wouldn’t fulfill my Olympic dream. I couldn’t let go of the thought of possibly hurting myself again, and there was the fact that I now had a son to tend to.
My son is now 8 and has been asking for a sibling. Not only do I want to give him the joy of being able to be a big brother, but I also want to experience life growing inside of me again. Carrying a child is a blessing that I long to experience again. I removed my Mirena impant in 2011. The removal of my implant was a painful process because it was growing into my tissue, but this can be part of having an implant sometimes. At the time I removed my Mirena implant, my husband and I weren’t trying for another child, but we were not actively preventing it, either.
In 2012, we found out we were pregnant! However, this joy was cut short. The pregnancy caused unbearable pain. I found out my pregnancy was an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy that occurs outside of the uterus, within the fallopian tube. These are extremely dangerous and painful because they can and will rupture if not removed as soon as possible. Ectopic pregnancies have the potential to kill the mother from blood loss if and when it ruptures if it isn’t removed. Of course, I had to have emergency surgery to remove it, but I will never forget the coldness of the doctor’s behavior toward me.
“Surgery has to be done,” he said.
The only reason he gave me the surgery option was because I had insurance, otherwise he would have given me the pill to allow it to pass through, which tells me he did it for the money.
The doctor removed the ectopic pregnancy by taking out the section of tube where the fetus had implanted.
Since then, we went to two more infertility doctors.
The first one we truly believed would care because he worked for an infertility clinic, but we noticed he was in a rush to begin the process of conception. Now being IVF patients, we had nothing but happy and hopeful thoughts. This new doctor told us, “It should work because you are you!”
Two cycles went by.
It did not work.
My husband and I gave up for a year. We paid for those two cycles ourselves, which is not cheap. We went back to trying again, this time with a new, third doctor.
With our new doctor, we were given more bad news about the tube that was left inside of me: the doctor in 2012 had done a terrible job removing the fetus. The tube was damaged. Furthermore, there was something wrong with my surviving “healthy” tube. Believing he could repair the tube, our new doctor wanted to operate on it. We like our new doctor because he is more patient, friendly and communicates better than the one before. He did a complete history on us before we moved forward with planning, which neither of the other two doctors before him did. Needless to say, it was a painful and late lesson to learn about medical processes.
He told us, “I’ll look inside and if it can be fixed, I will fix it. If not I’ll take it out.”
We did the operation, and needless to say, he had to take out my other healthy tube. He also cleaned up the mess that my first doctor left during the surgery in 2012.
Now I’m left with no tubes whatsoever. However, I have a healthy uterus and just need assistance putting the embryos in place. With our new doctor we have a lot of hope that this time things will be different. Despite our setbacks, he has helped us immeasurably. He has given us hope and helped us through some tough times, just by being honest, supportive, and open.
We have done everything from me giving myself shot after shot, and having my husband give me shots. Knowing I have no tubes but I still have healthy reproductive organs that can carry gives me a lot of hope. I feel this struggle is worth it because it will pay off to having a beautiful healthy child one day in the near future.
Working with kids for the past 6 years as a teacher has really made me want to have another one. Watching my son grow up, and him wanting and asking for a sibling makes me want to have another one. My desire to carry another child simultaneously warms and hurts my heart, knowing that I need a little more assistance, but that assistance is expensive. We have already spent so much. My husband and I have already spent a lot of our own money on our past attempts, and with my teacher’s salary we are reaching out to request anything from those who understand and/or empathize with our pain.
We are staying positive and hopeful for the days to come ahead of us.
If you have any ability to help us at all, we would be so, so grateful. The ability of modern medicine to help us realize our dream of expanding our family is truly a blessing, all we need is a little more help.
Thank you so much in advance from the bottom of our hearts.
This link will allow you to read my story.