I Recently Hit 1000 Days of Sobriety & Here’s What I’ve Learned
Believe me, I’m just as surprised & impressed as you are
Honestly? I don’t think I’ve done anything consecutively for 1000 days, let alone something as dope as staying sober from alcohol (full disclosure: I am “California Sober” meaning I abstain from alcohol, only).
One thousand days is a whole lot of days and I couldn’t be more proud of myself. With that said, I’d love to share a few things I’ve learned in my journey.
Do with it what you will, and note this is not any professional or medical advice.
Alcohol Does Not Make Me Fun
The biggest lie the alcohol industry sold me was that alcohol made me more fun. I needed a drink in order to enjoy activities because if I wasn’t drinking, those activities couldn’t possibly be as much fun as my drunk ass would like them to be.
Baseball games? Give me a $15 beer.
Seeing a Broadway show? Better put our wine order in for intermission.
A day at the beach? Let’s pack the cooler with cheap champagne and expensive orange juice- the ultimate guaranteed headache combo!
Basically, if I wanted to have fun, I needed to be drinking.
Turns out, this is a huge lie.
I am not fun when I drink.
I am loud, mean, ornery, and I make very poor decisions which I later have no recollection of. Ah- poor decisions and zero accountability.. the very definition of “fun”.
You know what is actually fun?
Watching an entire baseball game without getting shit thrown at you because you’re drunk and heckling the players/crowd.
Or attending a Broadway show without sneaking booze in and wondering who’s sober “enough” to drive the 60 miles home.
Days at the beach are filled with memories and fewer sunburns now that alcohol isn’t involved, and my skin and brain are grateful for his.
Being present to experiences instead of drinking my way through them is the biggest flex of sobriety.
Quitting Alcohol is like Wearing a Huge Mirror
This is something I was not adequately prepared for, and since I got sober on my own without a support system (like AA) navigating this was extremely difficult.
A thousand days in and I still get folks regularly talking to me about their drinking habits. Mind you, I am not asking for this conversation. I kind of don’t care what you drink or how often you do it- I’ve been a lifelong vegetarian and I learned long ago that what people choose to put in their mouths is a highly personal matter that has absolutely nothing to do with me.
I will say this- I never expected my choice to quit drinking would be so triggering for those around me.
I never thought I would have to navigate conversations about other people’s drinking.
I never thought people would drink alcohol in front of me while simultaneously telling me they don’t have an issue.
I never thought I would have to hold space for other people while I was learning how to hold space for me.
This part was and is tough. And annoying. I don’t have any advice here as I’m still learning myself. It’s important I make you aware of this, because it honestly feels like a bombardment sometimes.
Mornings are Glorious
The biggest surprise about quitting alcohol is all this free time I suddenly have. There is so…much…time…
Now that I don’t spend my evenings consuming 6 beers or several shots or even 1 whiskey neat, I’m able to not just fall asleep at a reasonable time, but I no longer wake up in the middle of the night because my body is figuring out how to process all the sugar from the alcohol.
Which means: I get to experience the morning with a clear head and a good attitude. I wake up without an alarm. I meditate. I move. I make coffee. All without rushing or feeling cranky.
The world itself is slower and calmer in the mornings, much like myself.
Most of My Friends are Drinking Buddies
Imagine my suprise when I figured out most, if not all, of my close relationships were based off a mutual love of drinking alcohol.
My ex and I used to consume handles of tequila together nightly.
My best friends and I would only do activities if we could drink.
My mother used to gift me items designed to conceal alochol for travel.
Granted, how I was choosing to live dictated the activities I would do, so I do not blame anyone. However, I had no sober friends. Not a single one.
Life Will Continue to Suck Only Now I Have a Clear Head to Deal With It
Life didn’t get better because I quit drinking. In fact, some of the hardest moments of my life have happened since I quit drinking over a thousand days ago.
And… I am so fucking grateful to be sober going though them. I cannot tell you how many times I have found myself saying,
“Thank god I am sober going through this”
or
“I can’t imagine having to deal with this while drinking”.
Quitting drinking certainly didn’t make my problems go away, but it did allow me to show up fully as myself in order to deal with said problems. It removed the veil that prevented me from seeing things clearly.
Drinking Culture is Everywhere
And this point breaks my heart. Drinking culture is inescapable.
It’s printed on clothing.
It’s centered around activities.
My favorite podcasters peddle their alcohol beverages and repost tiktoks that glamorize hangovers.
Perhaps it’s more apparent now that I am so removed. It’s hard to see the forest for the trees when your neck deep into your addiction.
Again, I have no advice. It’s not possible for all us sober folks to start a commune in the woods away from the boring, mass consumer culture of drinking. We still have to live and function within this society.
I wish I could tell you that quitting drinking is easy, will solve all your problems, and is supported by the world in which you live. It’s hard stuff, cravings and desires come up often, life continues to challenge you, and people continue to question you.
Awareness, meditation, and choice keep me connected to what matters. Spending even just a minute a day on any of these helps with the anxiety of moving around the world in this new, sober headspace.
Thank you for reading about my journey through sobriety. I’ve committed to recovering out loud so no one else has to suffer in silence.
