8 Life Lessons from Deb
“We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.” — Chuck Palahniuk
Definitely lost. I pull on to the shoulder of HWY 99 in my ’92 slate gray Mercury Sable, and with raindrops pummeling my windshield, I contemplate my next move. Reaching over to the passenger seat, I grab my crumpled driving instructions from MapQuest (pre Google Maps), and try to figure out where I made the wrong turn. I’m about to be late for my interview with Zeta Tau Alpha Fraternity’s Executive Director, Deb Ensor. If you know Deb, you know you cannot be late. Ever.
I slide open my black Samsung—like LG’s Chocolate, but better—and she picks up after the first ring, “Are you alive out there? Looks like Noah’s flood.”
Like most of her Traveling Leadership Consultant interviews, Deb had flown in to Seattle, and booked a hotel close to the airport so she could jet out in the morning to her next interview. After navigating a back road, I arrived, and she proceeded to grill me for the next three hours. She then made me stay until the worst of the storm was over, and I headed back in to the city, hoping against hope that I’d nailed my interview.
I’m fairly certain I screamed aloud when I got the offer call. I’d made it—selected to join an elite team of 12 leadership consultants that would spend the next year living out of two suitcases, traveling the United States, doling out nuggets of wisdom to sometimes less than eager listeners. It was a fantastic moment of realization: Deb believed in me.
Not only was the year I spent as a TLC life altering, it was the defining experience that made me want to choose marketing and leadership development as a career. I owe it all to a woman who took a chance and gave me the opportunity to give back to an organization that helped shape me into the scrappy, professional woman I am today.
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Today our Fraternity said goodbye to a legend, as Deb passed from this world to the next. I am heartbroken. I am heartbroken that a new generation of women will not have the privilege of knowing her. Or will they?
Here are some life lessons I learned along the way from a tremendous woman, who impacted thousands upon thousands of Zetas, fraternity and student affairs professionals, and the world:
1. It’s an email, not a Pulitzer novel.
I’m pretty sure the first few times I emailed with Deb, I thought she hated me. Her responses typically went like this: “Ok.” “Fine.” “When will the report be updated?” Finally one of my fellow TLCs asked about why her emails were always so short, and she said, “I’m a busy woman and nobody’s got time to read a novel.”
She taught me to love the fine art of the concise email, and my inbox will be forever grateful.
2. First Impressions can last a lifetime.
“No matter how little you’ve slept or how rough the recruitment week, you always put on your badge and some lip gloss to pick up the bid list”
She impressed upon all of the TLCs the importance of setting a good first impression: you have 15 seconds or less for someone to generate an opinion on you. Don’t waste them.
3. Strive for Greatness.
“Never underestimate the power of being a woman, never underestimate the power of being a Zeta, and never be surprised when greatness is expected of you.”
There’s not much I can add here, except to say that Deb inspired everyone to be the best version of themselves. She would often say during chapter visits, “You want to be the Mercedes in a room full of Buicks.” Touché Deb, touché.
4. Look for the good in everyone.
She believed in the misfits and shy ones, because she knew inside each one of them was the makings of a leader, if they were only given the chance. Give people a chance to prove you wrong.
5. If you’re early, you’re on time.
“You going to be ready for ‘morning call’ in 10 minutes?”
We were at Mizzou, and I had been up since 5am doing recruitment prep with the collegians, and had received updated numbers. In my excitement I ran downstairs to her room, still in my pajamas. I looked back at her, said, “Yes, ma’am,” and scampered back upstairs to pull myself together in record time. Always be on time.
6. Being able to adapt to any situation is pure gold.
Back in the day, she had a separate suitcase for her printer when she traveled, because “a business woman always makes her own arrangements.” I admired that Deb was always prepared for any situation, or immediately knew what to do on the fly.
On my first consultant visit, the house was evacuated because of a fire while I was in the shower, and the fraternity men across the street had to give me clothes while I waited, sopping wet, as the firefighters spent the next two hours making sure it was safe to go back inside.
When I called to tell Deb what had happened, she chuckled and said, “Well you sure got broken in to the TLC lifestyle quickly.”
7. Honesty empowers people to succeed.
“This is the loneliest job in the world where you’re surrounded by people. Can you handle that?”
Not the most uplifting words to hear when you’re interviewing for your first job out of college, but Deb never sugar coated anything. She was always brutally honest and clear in her expectations. It’s something I strive to do with all of my professional relationships, and it’s always worth it.
8. The greatest of these really is love.
You never forget your first job out of college, nor the person that gave it to you. I am again forever grateful to an amazing woman who has inspired multiple generations of women to “seek the noblest.”
Thank you Deb. Thank you from all of us.
