Five signs you’ve met your phone sex match.
“Phone sex” these days is anything but: dozens of platforms exist where providers and clients can explore safely and securely, and in many cases, establish relationships that can stretch for years.
Ironically, it’s the vetting process that can be the most time-consuming: amongst a sea of photos, ‘About me’ statements and voice samples, the ability to connect well often boils down to the very thing that humans are just as apt to appreciate offline — chemistry.
Based on my own professional experience, here are five ways to know you’ve met your phone sex match.
Her interests align with yours
As the saying goes, you can’t fit a square peg into a round hole. If what you want is full of fetish and kink, but you dial a relatively vanilla (traditional) PSO who specializes in providing a girlfriend experience, you’ll be both sorely disappointed and out of luck, as she likely won’t be able to meet your needs. Likewise, if you enjoy a more romantic encounter, but you call a woman who specializes in sadistic femdomme excursions — well, let’s just say the happy ending won’t be yours.
So, take the time to look past the pretty picture(s) and read the bio of the provider you’d like to play with. Casual encounters can be just as gratifying as deeper connections, by the way; first, make sure you’re in an area where you can get them met.
She’s available when you are
You’ve found the perfect provider — everything from her look to her voice checks out, and you can’t wait to play. There’s just one catch: she’s two timezones ahead of you.
While some providers are willing to proverbially meet their clients halfway, many stick to a schedule that allows them to show up consistently, which may or may not align with your own availability. Most providers are aware that some clients have a group of PSOs or virtual playmates who can meet their needs for various reasons, timing being one of them. That’s not to say you should settle — but it can be disheartening to set your sights upon a provider who is seemingly always out of reach. You can indulge in her content to enjoy at your leisure, of course; for live-time encounters, it’s best to find a playmate who can link when you want to.
You can trust her
Every reputable platform has layers of security and privacy in place that helps protect its users. Once you get beyond the velvet rope, though, can you trust your provider, and allow yourself to be vulnerable with her? To feel as if you can let down your guard and be yourself, in a place where you’re welcomed and not judged in spite of anonymity? These are rhetorical questions that only you know the answers to.
You can communicate
Communication is not just about speaking, but about listening, emphasizing and understanding, especially where so much can get lost in translation in the case of sexts and texts. Even a relationship that ticks all the right boxes can come with bumps in the road. At this point, some men might choose to move on to the next; others will choose to work through them with their provider(s).
As with the case of the choice to be vulnerable, so too is the importance of being able to speak up and state your needs. PSOs are talented at their ability to pick up unspoken cues, but they’re not mind readers. Communication is a two-way street, and a professional provider will not be offended by your need to share what is or isn’t working for you, or if you want to try something different. (Sometimes, it’s really not that deep.)
It just feels right — for both of you
Call it synergy, voodoo, or je ne sais quoi, but when it feels right, it just feels right, often inexplicably. You understand each other; you respect each other; you look forward to time spent together — and more than that, time spent together has a positive impact on your life in ways you might have not anticipated (or, in the very least, leaves you with a smile on your face that stretches throughout the whole day).
Ashley Alair is an adult content creator who writes about her experiences in sex work and at large. Learn more, and get in touch, at AshleyAlair.com.
