It’s okay to fake it.
A client messages me frantically that we must talk, immediately — he has something important to tell me. I turn my line on, wait patiently, and let him spill: his wife went out to happy hour after work, and returned home in the wee hours of the night, smelling of sex and alcohol, much to my client’s combined chagrin and utter excitement.
This client has long harbored a cuckold fantasy — we’ve spoken about his small cock and desire for his wife to get fucked by a bigger one for close to two years — though this is the first I’ve heard him that excited about it, where he isn’t trying to convince me that, for example, his wife seemed to dress extra sexy for an outing without him, or that she bought a brand-new pair of Jimmy Choo stilettos that never again appeared in her closet. No, this time, it seems real.
Whether or not his wife did get fucked by, say, a coworker or the bartender or some other casual stranger remains to be seen; whether he even has a wife is up for grabs. The tangibility of a fantasy means less to me than the idea of it. In other words, I don’t mind if a playmate has made up a narrative to share with me and stroke to any less than I do a client who actually has done all of the kinky and fetishy things.
Or, take the case of another client, Steve (not his real name), who confessed to me recently that during our humiliation sessions, where he wants me to order him to eat his cum, he actually hasn’t — not once, not ever, even though he certainly had me convinced. “It’d be one thing if you were here, in person, making me do it, but on my own…” he said, “I just can’t.”
Steve apologized profusely, though it really wasn’t necessary: there are sometimes things we want in the heat of the virtual, phone-sex moment that seem gratifying, but maybe aren’t once the rose-colored glasses are off. Conversely, there are men I speak with who have a deep-seated need to ensure I know that what they say is true; that what they desire really does have that strong a hold over their sex lives; that they are willing and able to walk their talk — who do suck cock; who do visit with prodommes; who do greedily suck down every last drop of their, or another man’s, spunk. As a person who uses her own likeness in myriad ways, I understand the need to be seen and heard, too.
I try my best to hold space for people — not just their fantasies, but for as much or as little of themselves they choose to share with me — and almost always consider it an honor that someone has decided to spend some of their most limited resource, time, with me. Often, they’re also often sharing some of their deepest sexual cravings that, in many cases, will never or can’t come to fruition offline. And that’s okay, as long as they’re able to enjoy it in some other capacity.
Whether it’s an orgasm, bisexuality, cuckolding or some other taboo-to-you topic — if you’re okay with faking it, I am, too. I promise, I won’t hold it against you.
Ashley Alair is an adult content creator who writes about her experiences in sex work and at large. Learn more, and get in touch, at AshleyAlair.com.
