Thorn

Ashley Cottrell
Jan 15, 2017 · 1 min read

This thorn in my flesh

This obsess….-sion

Shunned for my obsession

Obsession for perfection

OCD.

My fear of people

mistaking this disorder

for insanity

Yet, it is…..insane

Compulsions to prevent

anxiety from invading

the walls of my mind

and heart…..racing

I’m pacing

Hands twitching, eyes glitching,

room spinning

Anxiety….attack

So I clean, I straighten,

I ask questions more

than a curious toddler

I repeat, repeat, repeat

and replay every word

to the syllable

in my head…

Maybe that’s why

I have a passion for children

I show them the patience

I wish someone would have

with me

It’s funny

that now jobs applications

list OCD as an “optional”

mental disorder

next to bipolar

and depression

(as if we’d actually confess

we’re inadequate for

the job position).

This thorn in…my….flesh

I finally understand the

Apostle Paul

My soul seeks approval,

yet this “disorder”

rebels like a stubborn child

I cross my arms,

yet yours, Lord,

remained outstretched

I envy your love.

You said Your strength

is made perfect

in weakness….my OCD.

And, like Paul,

writing became

my therapy.

Ashley Cottrell

Written by

Copywriter by day, creative insomniac by night. ashleycottrell.contently.com