What The UniPiper Taught Me About Philanthropy, Systems Change and Orphaned Infants
I must admit, I never expected to see the Portland-Now-World-Famous UniPiper riding around stage on his unicycle spelling a word (in between breaths) on his bagpipe in a contest to raise money for charity.
But this is Portland. So I suppose you can expect anything on a Wednesday night.
I’ll also confess that it was a relief after a rough week (of course, it’s only Wednesday) to experience a fair number of deep belly laughs courtesy of Poison Waters — our local, very tall and Black drag Queen who makes it more than a pleasure to raise your bid card and give away your money at every event.
As much as I wanted to enjoy the escape from my (well before) 9 to (well after) 5 job and get lost in the laughter, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sadness as I watched tonight’s video of adorable and (of course!) deserving children getting their needed school supplies courtesy of this incredible organization. They are all deserving. OF COURSE THEY DESERVE SCHOOL SUPPLIES AS ALL CHILDREN DO.
Any sane person might wonder this: As worthy as tonight’s event was, why in the world is it necessary to convene several hundred people to have an admittedly yummy dinner and then to raise their bid cards to ensure that children in Portland, Oregon (of all places!) have adequate paper, pencils and backpacks?
I mean, couldn’t we just make sure that we live in a society that provides this as a bare minimum? FFS!
Apparently, it is actually more cost effective for a grocery chain and a financial institution to pay tens of thousands of dollars to sponsor an event like this than it is for them to simply ensure that — through their tax dollars — all children have a sufficient school supplies and an adequate education? This is our situation in 2020.
Don’t get me wrong. I love a fun event where the wine is flowing and bid cards are raised high. And I am sincerely grateful for all the generous folks who made tonight’s event possible — the companies, donors, staff and participants including the high-larious Lindsey Murphy AKA Crazy Aunt Lindsey.
But seriously, people. We must ask ourselves: Is this the best way to ensure a healthy society?
I will admit, there are people like me (and some of my friends who will go unnamed for the moment) whose professional (and for some of us, social) lives revolve around going to these events.
But to be honest, if only we were willing to engage in direct policy and systems change, tonight’s event (and so many events) would not even be necessary.
As much as I would miss the hysteria of Poison Water’s sassy and profane jokes, I would sleep better knowing that I live in a society where notebooks and pencils trump tax shelters.
But what does all of this have to do with an orphaned infant?
This is a picture of an adorable child only a few days old surrounded by dogs and a cat. A modern day SE Portland Nativity Scene complete with my Golden Retriever and the a gentle little mutt and orange kitty she stay with when I’m at work. Here they are surrounding that sweet baby taken from her parents for her safety. Somehow these critters knew to surround this sweet child with protection when she arrived today.
While it may seem at first blush that this photo has nothing to do with a celebrity spelling bee and school supplies, I know in my gut and heart that if we chose as a community to support and finance a system that supported those sweet children who need school supplies, we would also nurture a community of parents who would not need their children taken away for their safety.
And we wouldn’t need to dink around with raising money for backpacks and pencils.
In the meantime, we have the UniPiper (gawd love him!) and Poison Waters (!!!) to entertain us through these dark and crazy times.
