A Moment of Reflection

Jan 2, 2014

21:48 Somewhere in Germany on a train.

13:48 Edmonton, Alberta.

I just want to take this moment to reflect on my thoughts, about this trip, the past year and hopefully what I want my near future to look like. Here goes nothing!

So right now. Thoughts. Well I have been noticing I have eating a lot lately. Mainly out of boredom. Train station stops, cafes, just anything. How do I curb this boredom? I think it might be the lack of a home, or always on the go or just not having a proper schedule to be able to actually cook. I do miss home a lot because of that. When I get home I will be eating so much healthier. It feels great to have fruit and lean, clean meals. Meals here while on the go are so salty and fatty. It’s kind of gross. Cultural food don’t help one bit either. They are traditional foods that back in the day the people had to travel far and over a long period of time so sometimes they didn’t always have food. So they stuffed themselves with lots of fatty type foods and let their bodies live off that if they had to. Now and day it’s quite different. Working out I can’t wait for too! I get to start building up my body again just like I once was doing. I definitely didn’t like the plyometric stuff. But the actual weight lifting was actually pretty fun. Mentally challenging. With that said; I have been doing different things here in Europe to keep the physical activity up. Always taking the stairs, even taking 2 at a time. Running up the stairs if I didn’t have a massive pack on. Riding a bike whenever possible. And walking as much as I can as well. Along with dancing as hard as I can and still trying to look half respectable. So not all is lost. But I have noticed a gain in weight. Nothing super massive. But it is VERY disheartening seeing some love handles come back. Those are my first priority when I get back home. I really do not dig the muffin top look.

Now with me getting my phone stolen keeping in touch with family, the new bf and other friends make it really tough. I wake up too late now. I have no alarm clock. So I can’t chat with others before they go to bed. And I stay out too late so I can’t chat with them when they wake up. Being in Europe is starting to frustrate me. It’s bad enough I’m here alone and that in itself is a whole other topic. I’m glad my computer didn’t get stolen as well. Just one minor slip up, one time that your eyes are away. Or one time that you let your guard down that’s when the bloody bastards take advantage of you here. I feel Frankfurt wasn’t too bad. Switzerland wasn’t bad either. I didn’t like the vibe in the Zurich train station. Grenoble seemed fine. Interlaken was great. Berlin was sketchy for the possible pick pockets. And Paris was the worst. Inevitably it happened just after I left Paris. The first train from the station is where my phone got taken. I was tired and wanted to get a bit of shut eye and I should have been more on guard. The disparity in the big cities is so massive that it makes people desperate to do anything to get any kind of income in. With the smaller towns it’s not that bad at all. Everyone is fairly well off. You have to be to live in the smaller towns. Now another thing I noticed. In Canada and the United States the poor are fairly unhealthy and over-weight. In Europe it’s the rich that are unhealthy and over-weight. At least in what I had seen. People that can afford the public transport or a vehicle and rich food were more over weight then the poor who had to walk or ride bicycles everywhere. They had to afford healthier whole food which was cheaper. Processed food is fairly expensive out here because it’s mainly imported. Unless the country of course specializes in that product. Just some things I noticed.

Now on to the being alone part. Yes I do enjoy travelling alone to some extent on short trips. Vegas for 4 days, Atlanta for 4 days. No big deal. Even then I wish I had someone around. Vegas was nice but you see couples everywhere and you know they are having a great time. There are pros and cons to both sides. With my trip here in Europe being gone for so long, it’s hard to interact with people because they don’t speak your language and I really don’t want to be rude about it. I enjoyed swiss people because they actually like English. So there are many times where there are opportunity to speak to others because they come to you and speak to you but it’s in another language and you just draw a blank face and just say. “I don’t know” then they move on and your chance is gone. So with that said. I barely been able to smile while I’m here except for in the mind’s eye. It’s fairly unfortunate. The few time’s I did meet rad people that I could hang out with were awesome. But it’s far and few in between. Next long trip will NOT BE ALONE.

This trip has taught me a lot. Too much in fact. When times got hard I kept saying to myself. “Life’s an adventure, see where it takes you.” “Don’t bother with the little things, you are alive and well and that’s all that matters.” Many times I felt too overwhelmed and just wanted to sit down and just cry. But where will that get you. No closer to where you want to be that’s for sure. So sometime you just have to suck it up. Take a deep breath and just say. Fuck it. What’s next. Murphy has fucked a lot with me and it’s nothing I can’t handle. It can be fairly stressful at times but that’s where you will find out where your breaking point is. I’m really not sure if I have hit that point yet. The point where I feel I have to get the fuck out of here…. Wait. Grenoble did that to me. The culture shock was just too much. After that I went back to Switzerland, cooled down, relaxed, let loose and just let it go. That’s how I was able to finally able to endure France again for a whole 5 more days in Paris. It was tough but I got over it. Next time I don’t thing I’ll travel so many countries in such a short time. One at a time for now on. Learn the language, communicate, make friends and see the actual country for what it is. No more of this big city touristy shit. Although it is cool. Sweet buildings for sure. I could really go on about the trip and how it’s changed me and taught me life long lessons. But I really do understand the one quote where they say something along the lines of “oh you’re experienced? How much have you travelled?” not totally sure how it goes. Typical Ashley for you. Don’t expect me to bust out references and jokes on the first try; or on the tenth try.

Now that my trip is so close to over, I really will miss everyone I met. There is one person I wish I could have said goodbye to but never got the chance to. It always happens like that doesn’t it. It was a nice long trip that kind of felt like an eternity. It felt like ages since I was in the Swiss alps but really it was only a couple weeks ago. Hopefully one day I will get the chance to see everyone I had met on this trip again. I am glad that I get to go home soon though. Being gone for so long makes you really appreciate home a lot. The cities are so big and feels so overpopulated to me. Maybe china won’t be a good idea for me one day. But these massive cities make Edmonton look like a child in comparison. The stores are not busy at all on comparison. I enjoy how polite Canada is. France made me fairly aggressive to an extent. You have to be. People are always bumping into you and if you just stand there and say sorry to everyone and let everyone go ahead of you because you are nice then you will stand in that same spot for years. It’s a very very aggressive public. It was funny though. In Paris one of my friends in the hostel kept saying “Oh Canada, stop being so passive.” Haha! I can’t help it. They kept joking with me it was funny. So many memories, so many pictures, videos and awesomeness. It kind of feels like a blur. I’m glad I brought the go pro along and tried to capture as much as I can. Even that is a learning experience in itself. I got lazy at times. Especially in Amsterdam. My mind was really somewhere else. It’s unfortunate. But a lot of the places Won’t let you record or take pictures anyway. Now in Venice I’ll hopefully gather as much as I can.

As for my near future. I’m super excited to spend 2 weeks in Colorado shredding the slopes with the bf. As I have been lugging my snowboard around Europe not being able to snowboard most of the time because let’s face it. Conditions are better in Canada. Learnt that lesson. Then I’ll be spending a wicked 35 days with an awesome friend of mine in the US of A on a road trip around the country. Hopefully I can afford it. Then after that I hope to pay off my many debts; not accumulated from travelling. All my travels were not paid by the credit card companies. And then just save, save, save for next season. No more international festivals for a while, maybe a few local shows here and there. And just shred all next season. Maybe do an intense road trip again to find the right mountain. We will see. But shredding is in the works for a whole season. Budgeting will commence once I can finally stay in one spot for a long enough time. Time to move on and keep looking forwards. To build awesome on top of the already awesome! (Side note: I don’t get the reason for the Parisian’s so be so melancholic and depressive, they say it’s cool to be that way. I had unknowingly experienced a true Parisian in the wild in her melancholic state. I personally think there is nothing like being happy! It feels great!)

Never forget who you are and stay true to you. Life so worth the wild ride. Have fun with it!