Sometimes I consider getting a job

If you’ve read anything by me, you’ll know I am incredibly Type A. I like knowing all the things that are coming, especially when it comes to my finances.

See, I grew up with this super cool grandpa, who recently passed away, and he worked hard. He always had multiple jobs and did whatever he had to do to provide for his family. He would get so upset when my sister and I would only have one job. He always let me slide because let’s be honest, I always was in school.

So while I was off in school learning all the things, he instilled this deep sense of work ethic in me.

I recently shared about how this work ethic has played a sometimes negative role in my life. I always have something going on. I also have some serious anxiety which I mention in that piece as well.

For the first time in my entire life, I haven’t had a traditional job. There’s no steady paycheck coming in. There hasn’t been for months on months. It’s been all me, all the time.

Which is stressful, to say the least.

Never once has there been a moment when the bills get skipped. But lunatic Ashley has her spreadsheet with bills and what’s incoming from clients. And I track every single thing on this planet. Every single month and it is always around mid-month that I think “maybe there won’t be enough.”

Maybe the rent won’t get paid. I am fortunate that even if the money didn’t come from clients I have amazing friends and family who would bail a girl out. But no one wants that. Let’s be real.

So I get stressed every single month.

Every single month I text my friend Katelyn and say “I should get a job.”

And every single month she says, “do you want a job?” No. Obvi Katelyn, I do not want a job. I hate jobs.

Jobs suck.

So I go into panic mode for about an hour.

And then God provides. As per usual.

A client will appear from nowhere. Even though it’s never nowhere. More on that later.

A passive income funnel will produce a bunch of sales.

Let me be clear, the money coming in is always higher than what is going out. I just like to be extra sure. It’s the Type A in me.

But I still have these moments oh “oh sugar, what will I do?”

I still get nervous. I still have to check myself. I still need to push myself. I still need to be the number one person believing in me.

And I search Indeed or something and then realize I’d rather waitress again than go back to a corporate job. Because honestly, corporate sucks. Expect more on that another time.

For me to come from a background of you must work hard for someone else, the struggle is real to rely on myself. Even though I travel the globe and speak at conferences about being successful, I still have moments of doubt. I still get nervous. While there’s never been a time since I left my ex-husband that the bills were in danger of being skipped, I still get nervous. I still have to check myself. I still need to push myself. I still need to be the number one person believing in me.

If I don’t believe I can do this then it’s really easy to go back to being miserable at a desk because Indeed, LinkedIn, Monster, etc. have hundreds of jobs I can apply for. I can give up my days by the pool. I can give up my days with no alarm clock. I can forget about traveling. I can just skip the whole being happy thing, right?

Wrong.

Every time I consider getting a job and I let the stress take over, I have to ask myself, “is this temporary stress, that is self-induced, worth giving up my happiness?”

Absolutely not.

Here’s the thing. Once you have the passion to work for yourself inside of you and you’ve tasted the freedom, you can never go back. Trust me, I tried it once. Epic failure.

Working for yourself requires mindset work like you could never imagine. I never thought I had limiting beliefs and all that jazz until I hired my first coach and she rocked my world. I still do her mindset packets, watch her videos, etc. because I need to constantly take care of me if I want to grow.

Working for yourself requires consistent action. Those clients out of nowhere I mentioned? They come from watching my writing, my live videos, my conferences, my experiences, etc. for months and then making a decision to act.

But if I didn’t do the mindset work, I’d have quit by now. I’d have walked away and gone back to corporate life. I’d have let temporary, self-induced stress send me packing and back into real pants. Yuck.

98% of people who have a dream of ditching their 9–5, won’t actually do it. Why? Because they haven’t decided that temporary stress cannot hold them back from their dreams.

Next time you consider strapping on the job helmet and heading over to job land where jobs grow on jobbies, consider what you’d be giving up. Ask yourself if this is a temporary situation. Ask if you’re worth really pursuing your dreams.