Read This When You’ve Had a Shitty Day


First of all let me begin by saying — screw your description of what a “shitty day” constitutes.
I don’t care if you’re bummed because you dropped your gold sandwich all over your diamond incrusted floor and it made you cry.

If you had a shitty day — you had a shitty day.

Shitty days happen. They happen to Oprah, they happen in outer space and they happen to people who plan on having really fantastically good days. They happen to people who have very little in life and to people who have an abundance of things they don’t need.

Hear that….? Someone just had a shitty day. Just now.

I’m not here to help you rise above your shitty day. I’ll leave that to this blog post from a few months back. Sometimes we get bombarded with images and messages telling us that we’re not allowed to be sad, or frustrated or unhappy or annoyed. We’re told to snap out of it, carry on, smile and shrug it off or we may actually run the risk of being one of those emotionally vulnerable people from the 90’s. Gross.

This obsession with being strong and happy is completely negating one important fact of the human experience. Shitty days. Times when people we trusted let us down or things we worked towards begin to fail. One shitty day might even knowingly be the beginning of more shitty days to come because…sometimes awesome things require a concentrated supply of shitty days that precede it.

Shitty days don’t feel good. It’s hard to smile through them, they don’t settle right in our stomach. They’re like cold french fries or feeling crumbs in the corner of your pocket. They’re unpleasant and invasive. And they make us feel emotional and deficient. Shitty days can also rub off on the people around us — we can actually BECOME someone’s shitty day.

Try this…

Let it in, feel shitty and weird and uncomfortable and upset. Be restless and don’t sleep. Eat the cake or don’t take your vitamin — make you’re silly bad decisions for a minute. Feel better? No? F*ck some more shit up then.

When you’re done, remember this… Shitty days only happen to people who want dope things in life. There’s all kinds of people out there who have severely less shitty days because they don’t reach much for the things just outside of their grasp. That’s fine, no shade. But being uncomfortable is a symptom of having a taste for the more incredible things in life. Truly enriching careers, passionate and healthy relationships, life-changing travel, huge pay-offs, satisfying work, long lives. No matter what drives you it’s because you’re driven that shitty days are so inevitable.

I don’t think you should ignore that you’ve had a shitty day today. I don’t think you should pretend you won’t have a shitty day tomorrow. Instead, embrace the lessons. What’s making you feel shitty? Change it. Evolve beyond it, fight against it. How can you avoid it in the future? Do it, plan it, write it down. Whether the change needs to come from what you accept about another person, what you accept about yourself or what you spend your time focusing on — you are capable of creating change in your life based on what is uncomfortable to you.

Next time someone tries to punctuate your heated rant with how much you should be thankful that things aren’t worse — feel completely free to ask them to take a nap on the highway. Own your stupid shitty day and all the stupid shitty things that happened to you in it. Don’t let these gems get snuffed out by a mess of encouraging thought and positive affirmations. You can spend the morning reading Deepak Chopra and sipping green tea tomorrow… but today be a hot mess.

Be a hot mess so hard that you can’t do anything else after that but shine.

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Originally published at thetemporarythings.com on September 21, 2015.