What did you do today to build character?

Those words had sound to them as I shot my eyes open this morning. My second thought was, it’d better be 3AM, who said that? I reluctantly looked at the time. It was almost 7. Okay, time to write.

Was that voice asking about the ‘day’ I just had in my dream? Because if it were, the day was shit. My dog had taken on a demonic energy and whenever he peed on anything, it set on fire. Amongst all the other incredibly strange things that happened in dreamland, this is the one that rises to mention.

So, today I build character? Is that what you are saying God? I am to align my life with my actions and my surroundings? Friends, home, face & mind.

Emotionally I could use some work in the character department. My dog, I believe (in the dream) was a symbol of how I tend to destroy my boundaries. Relationships, I’m super good about being lazy (laid back?) and not working for progress. I’ve been so good at being alone my whole life then finding guilt in myself for not having better friends or simply more sustainable relationships. Fuck core beliefs.

I could nurture some sustainability there. Relationships. Be a better character in my own story. What is a better character, is identity crisis necessary, some upheaval climactic learning experience? Again? and again? Repeat?

What if that voice was asking about today, before today actually happened? I’m reluctant to change anything, though I know that upheaval climactic learning experience I live for, with or without choice. I may be more diligent today about staying in the moment, nurturing my relationship with my daughter a little more and giving my new partner more space. Oh oh oh. Maybe I will be so in the moment today, I will see patterns in my responses and change them for the character development. What a thought.