I would consider myself a “strong person,” and I have my own ideas as to why strong people do what they do. I’ll go ahead and share to encourage further insight and dialogue on this topic…..
They Want To Recreate Their Earliest Relationships
It’s not that we want to “fix” the situations of our youth. We’re just used to putting up with bullshit. Drama, pain, and emotional messes are normal for us. That’s what we know. In fact, we don’t know life without it. Because of this, we continue creating friendships and relationships that follow these same patterns. We don’t know see unhealthy behaviors as a red flag that we should stay away from. We’ve been immersed in a life in which these things are all normal, so instead of taking a cue to turn away, we go on dealing with it.
They Don’t Find Happiness In What Comes Easily
It’s true that strong people want a challenge, but that doesn’t mean they go out and choose things just because they’re hard. Strong people don’t want happiness at the expense of hardship. There may be some out there, but they want basic happiness to come easily and naturally within a relationship. They want the variety and growth that challenges offer, but they still want a partner that accepts and understands them. I don’t think people choose a relationship BECAUSE it’s hard. I think they stay in them because they’re already used to living in challenging situations. Life has never been easy, so why would they expect a relationship to make that any different?
They Give Strength To What They Love
I agree from my own experience that strong people give their strength to what they love. But I would say this is done because they’re driven to give their relationship the things they their previous relationships (family, partner, etc) lacked. Strong people are strong because they learned how to endure, and adapt, and evolve. They don’t want to go through the same pain again, so they try to give their all to bring about something better. Of course, this kind of commitment can get very intense. Strong people can also project their past pains into the present, and that can have them seeing the past repeating itself when it actually isn’t. This DEFINITELY exacerbates things.
Vulnerabilities And Intimacy
Strength is acquired by pushing on through difficult and painful trails. While those trails may have been walked years ago, strong people may be marked with scars that still hurt to be touched. These scars remind them of the pain they experienced, and they don’t want to put themselves through that again. When you’ve had people betray you and hurt you, you learn to guard your heart because you don’t want to be let down or hurt again. It’s not so much about being comfortable as it is about protecting yourself.
Strong People Dislike Being Wrong
Looking at the world, I’d say that just about every type of person dislikes being wrong. I’m even inclined to think that “weaker” people may dislike being wrong more than anyone. However, a strong person has had to fend for themselves, and their journey has led to them developing their own values, beliefs, and life philosophy. They may not have the healthiest reasonings for their ideas and actions, but you better believe there’s a reason behind what they’re doing. A weaker person does too, but while they would keep quiet to please others or keep the peace, a strong person is ready and able to defend themselves. It’s this very ability which their survival may have depended upon.
Strong People Are Susceptible To Sticking Things Out
I do agree that some people have the idea that they can change things, but I also think a huge reason strong people stick things out is because they haven’t experienced otherwise. If you’ve grown up knowing life to be challenging, then you won’t know that it doesn’t have to be that way. Your ability to tolerate bullshit, drama, and suffering is incredibly high, so while experiencing these things may hurt — it doesn’t phase you. Hardship IS your frame of reference, so it never even occurs to you that life can be simple or easy. That’s just the way life is.