I’ve contemplated the very same thing within my own relationships. I shared my ponderings on Thought Catalog. I’ll include an excerpt plus the link to the post below…

Look at any given situation and we can find something unfair about it. Because of that, we’re likely to pass on any resolution-based thinking so that we can throw ourselves a pity party where we find a hundred things to cast blame on (which conveniently clears us of taking any sort of responsibility). But just like it takes two to tango, it also takes two to create a problem. And while we’re all aware of the literal side of this analogy, this interpretation barely scratches the surface of this insightful advice.

Throw two tangoing dancers face-to-face and tell them to move left, and they’ll be moving in different directions. Their perception of left differs from the person they’re dancing with, but it’s definitely correct from where they’re standing. But since the other dancer doesn’t have this same angle on things, they’re going to fall out of rhythm and find themselves in an argument that may have them abandoning dancing altogether. Just like these dancers, we’ll also have different perceptions of what’s “right” and “wrong” (not because we’re superior but because we have different life experiences, and preferences, and gender differences). And while we’re ready to stomp our feet and claim that the problem lies with them, they may only be wrong from the angle where our current experiences and ideas have us standing. If we can’t step back from our stance, we’ll never be able to take a look at every possible angle. And if we can’t consider the stance of each angle, we’ll never move together in rhythm.

The tango of relationships comes with basic steps, but it’s our individual flair — our experiences and ideas — that brings this dance to life. Be flexible and open-minded and you’ll find yourself able to dance to whatever music life plays for you.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/ash-stevens/2016/07/finding-the-balance-between-love-and-war/