For all date stories, I’ve changed the names of pretty much everyone (I’ll embarrass them privately, instead of publicly) so I’ve given each person a name that relates to them. It’s my private joke between me and me — but I’ll share it with you for the sake of art *enter dramatic look*
Name: Kaizen, 37
I named him this because… His name is super common so when he used to go out clubbing with his friends, they’d often lose him and then never be able to find him because too many people would turn around if you shouted his name out. They decided to name him Kaizen and then proceed to play something similar to Marco-Polo in the middle of a rave!
Where did we meet? Hinge
As far as first dates go (and my first ever date with an online match), this was a really good date. It taught me a lot about me, a lot about first dates and a lot about online dating in general.
Firstly, he was super surprised that we actually met up because apparently “a lot of people talk on these apps but don’t actually go on dates” is a common running theme among online daters! We spoke online for about 2–3 weeks before we met up, maybe a bit long in the dating world but I wasn’t about to meet someone after one conversation because, you know, stranger danger and all that! (Is that something that people do, one conversation and then you meet up??)
Secondly, after all stress I went through of choosing the “perfect” first date outfit, and fretting over what I looked like or what he would think about me, within the first 10 minutes of speaking he told me that I looked better than I did in pictures, and that, apparently, is rare (turns out when you meet someone for the first time, they have no real first impression of you so you can dress however you want!). It’s worth noting, he looked just like his pictures so I wasn’t thrown off at all. Probably a little bit shorter than I expected but I’m 5 ft 2" so I really can’t complain…
We met up for drinks (he drank beer, I drank OJ) and our date really did just consist of us talking and getting to know one another. He was an actor when he was younger, his mum was from the West Indies and his dad was an American Navy officer! We mostly talked about him but that was partly because I think he was nervously rambling and also because I was nervously quiet. Also, I’m not really sure how much I should give away about what we talked about on the date, to one extent I’m pretty sure he won’t be reading this but I also feel like I’ll be crossing some kind of invisible confidentiality thing? (Let me know your thoughts on this, am I breaking the trust? Is it okay to talk about personal things? Would you want to know the ins and outs of the conversations?!)
I love learning, so meeting new people to hear about their life stories and backgrounds is right up my street. I’ve mentioned it before, but I really have chosen to view dating as a part of my social life. You get to try out new places, meet new people and if nothing else, make a new friend right?
We had two drinks at Boxpark and then headed to Dinerama for food (shout out White Men Can’t Jerk for gooood jerk chicken) and the date was over by 9.30pm (also worth nothing I chose to end the date at 9.30pm, I gave myself a cut off time before I went out as it’s always good to enjoy your time, but leave them wanting more!)
This date taught me so much about myself and dating.
- I realised you really can be whoever you want to be on these dates. You can be as confident as you want, as quirky as you want, choose to really put yourself out there or you can choose to talk more about one side of you. Although I was nervous about being around someone new, it was an opportunity to really show someone who I was right now (as opposed to who I’ve been in the past). Because let’s face it, if I didn’t want to see him again, I didn’t have to!
- Everyone has first date jitters! As a matchmaker we recommend that you go on 3 dates with every match so to practice what I preach, I aim to do 3. I could tell he was nervous; he was very chatty, a bit loud but sweet with the compliments. Let’s just say the second date was much better than the first!
- The biggest learning of all was learning that people don’t actually go on dates. Why put yourself out there on an app, with no intention of going on any dates? Are we doomed to survive on cyber-relationships only? Are we destined to become the live-action version of Wall-E?
Any questions or thoughts, let me know!