I’m Having Second Thoughts…

The cheque arrives…now what?

So far there’s only one Maitre D’ate rule: The guy pays for the first date.

But now I’m having second thoughts…should I get rid of it?

It wasn’t facetiousness that got me to make that rule. I was confident it would have a positive impact on the outcome of the date for two reasons.

1) Reduce first date awkwardness

Part of the reason is the inherent awkwardness that comes with a first date. I’m sure we can all agree meeting someone on a romantic date is a delicate dance of being polite, interesting and flirty.

Hitting the right mix is totally tricky and with all this mental & emotional acrobatics I thought it would be good to have a few items — say, who’s going to pay the bill — that are pre-arranged so they aren’t added to your mental burden.

But maybe you should figure it out for yourselves? And if it’s awkward so be it?

2) Attraction

The other part is that it’s hot when a guy takes control of a situation. Women like that. A lot.

Men: If you don’t already know this, the better you handle these types of situations the more appealing she’s going to find you.

Men, let me be clear: I’m not suggesting a huge night out. It’s not howmuch you spend. It could literally be an ice cream or popcorn. It’s not about how much you shell out. It’s about your ability to lead, be smooth, and take control of a situation.

And, men, let me be clear with this too: You need not worry you are setting a precedent. The women in the Maitre D’ate database are successful & independent and do not need subsidies. They will not expect you to pay for everything and they will be appreciative when you do pay for things (and if they aren’t let me know).

But let’s get back to the attraction bit: When I look at the feedback from the in-person interviews I have conducted, it’s apparent women like it when a man takes the lead. And, in fact, the stronger/more alpha the woman, the more she’s attracted to that. So why not take the lead?!

I would love your feedback…do you think it’s good to have the rule that men pay for the first date or should the two people on the date figure it out among themselves? I’m dying to hear what you think.

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