How Our Best Can Be Overlooked
As dependable as the light of the morning, she has always shown up for me.
Whether I’ve chosen to celebrate her dependability or not, she’s been my never failing support. Both in and out of season, she’s always seen the best. Ironically, she’s not my mother or my best friend. Too often overlooked, but never replaced, she’s my reflection!
I both recognize and admit I have not always given her an easy ride as a metaphoric life partner. Today, I choose to ask her forgiveness and say, “Thank you. Forgive me for every moment I looked at you and bypassed the love and admiration you extended to me. Thank you for always showing up and never giving up. You deserve my gratitude! I see you, and yes, you are a splendid representation of my absolute and authentic goodness!”
Thankfully, I’m not alone — you too have a reflective conversation. But, does your commentary speak to who she is or how you’ve chosen to see her? Are you saying what she needs and deserves to hear from you?
Every day, she offers unique opportunities to look her in the eye and be endearing toward her. And, why shouldn’t we? If our reflections could talk, I think the messages would reverberate in mirrors across the globe: “I see nothing but good in you! There’s no one I’d rather show up for! You’re my best thing!” Last, but too frequently translated in every language, “Why don’t you see me!” When I think of how many times I’ve been critical of her, I see how unconditional she’s been. She’s always deserved my attention, but not the kind I was often willing to give.
The past couple of years, I’m most grateful for being conscious and committed to my desire to see her the way she sees me. Our reflection represents a gift, a frequent occasion for admiration and recognition, not a stage from which we pick ourselves apart with highlights of imperfection.
I once heard someone say, “When you know better, you do better!” I now know that if I’m not the first to embrace her, I heighten the risk of people being lost on who she is, what she’s worth, how she should be treated, and how she shifts the atmosphere by simply walking into a room. I have to accept her and be pleased with who she is today, not who she was or will be. Despite our being bombarded with false images of beauty and womanhood, the choice to accept these ideals serves to play themselves out when we stand in the mirror. It’s an exhausting proposition that successfully rejects and abandons her by way of unhealthy conditions, unrealistic expectations, harsh judgments and consistent critiques.
My power, and yours, lies in the balance of one choice — the choice to be thankful for the wonderful woman looking back at us. The choice to affirm her every chance we get is ours for the taking.
What if the goal was to make every look in the mirror make her want to smile? Don’t you think it sucks that she gets the most attention when it’s time to put something on, take something off, or wish something looked different? Our reflection is so much more than a reminder of what we look like. On another level, it offers possibilities to be the woman who no longer wishes she could turn back time or live according to the expectations of others. It offers the space to stop taking yourself for granted, being so hard on yourself, and giving so much while expecting so little. It’s God’s loving representation of how He sees us devoid of our perceived flaws. She’s your muse and number one fan, all wrapped in one! She’s loved you from the first time your eyes met. Even today, she’ll show up, hoping you grant her one eternal request: that you accept her offer to see you the way she does. Will you oblige?