Too Much Girl Talk About You and Your Guy?

I believe a good girlfriend is like a guilt-free bowl of ice cream — good to the last drop. She requires no pretense and is the one you can bounce ideas off of and confide in with some of your most intimate thoughts. However, when those thoughts include details of your relationship, it gets tricky. Though it is not as hard and fast as “don’t ask, don’t tell,” my advice is that “less is definitely best.”

When it comes to the details, the fewer friends who know, the better. The type of friends you tell is critical. Here are some things to think about: If you’re seeking a lasting relationship, friends with a laundry list of bad relationships are not the best picks for the details. Although you may want your friends to support and minimize your relationship blind spots, it is a wise decision to keep some things to yourself. Not to mention, you have to be clear on how your partner feels about your confidantes knowing what he may have chosen to only share with you.

Think about it this way — do you want your man’s friends knowing intimate details about you? Would you feel unprotected and exposed if they did? This especially counts when referring to sex and finances. I’m not saying these subjects are off-limits, but the details should be, especially if you’re married. At that level, it’s best to come to a solid agreement with your spouse about who can know intimate details about your marriage. Agreement on the friends (preferably couples) who should have access to intimate aspects of your relationship will minimize the potential for detailed sharing to breed conflict or contempt. In a nutshell, stay connected to your friends, but keep the details to a minimum. Remember, what you don’t want him to share with others you may want to think twice about sharing as well.

Dr. Nicole LaBeach is a success strategist, relationship expert and author who has changed the lives of all who dared to strive for their personal bests. She is a sought-after, results-driven professional and the CEO of Volition Enterprises, Inc., a premiere personal and professional development firm specializing in coaching, organization growth and development. To connect with Dr. Nicole, visit www.askdrnicole.com.

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