We Have To Teach Men Social Skills

It’s very sad that men aren’t taught social skills. Women have them much more naturally.
The fact that so many guys have to go into “pick up artistry” to learn basic social skills because no one else taught them should be a warning sign.
The lack of social awareness in men in general is horrible. I know because I used to have probably the least of anyone I knew. It really sucks.
Imagine not being able to tell if people like you or not. What they’re feeling. How they’re responding to you. How you make them feel.
When other people talk and joke and do their little social dance, you just watch it and have no idea what’s going on or how to engage in a fluid/normal way.
You feel extremely awkward, out of place, out of touch, afraid and like there’s something wrong with you any time you’re in a social setting.
Like everyone else knows something that you just can’t understand. They’re all together. You’re all alone.
Because socializing feels so painful and confusing, you start avoiding it. You stay home every weekend. In your room. All alone. Which of course exacerbates the problem.
You just start lagging further and further behind. All by yourself. Week after week. No one really talks to you. No one messages you or asks you to hang out. Alone.
You go further and further down this spiral, until you’re so disconnected from yourself and your fellow humans that just talking to another person becomes a huge deal. A monster in the closet. You basically stop talking.
That was me. For years. From a very early age until quite recently.
Does it mean you’re a bad person? Are you evil? Are you stupid? Well, maybe. But perhaps not. Maybe you just didn’t have good role models, or you spent too much time alone as a kid.
Of course, the only way out of this hell is to face the demon. And that’s what I eventually realized and did. All alone. Because I realized no one was gonna come and save me.
And that realization was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
So I went out. Alone. Again and again and again. To bars and clubs and streets. Talking to people. Mostly just saying hi and “running away”. Sometimes having little conversations.
But the more I repeated this, the more confident I felt. The more I noticed little social and emotional nuances in myself and others. The more I was able to handle the pressure and face myself.
My relationship with my siblings improved. I slowly started being able to communicate what I thought and felt in a way that takes into account another human.
And yes, the guys who guided me through this were so-called “pickup artists”. Or that’s what other people called them. Meaning they talked a lot about going out and talking to girls and getting laid. Which is cool.
My main motivation, though (and that of my main mentors and so many other guys I saw), was what I described above. Just freeing myself from this prison of isolation and helplessness.
The reason I followed these guys were (1) because many of them are actually very good, smart and admirable people, (2) because of the heavy self-development focus which always attracted me, (3) because my lack of social skills wasn’t helping me in my dating life, and so I wanted help with that too, and (4) BECAUSE THEY WERE THE ONLY FUCKING PEOPLE WHO TALKED TO ME ABOUT MY SITUATION, HAD BEEN THROUGH IT, OVERCAME IT AND WERE WILLING TO GIVE REAL ADVICE.
So if you wanna say that’s bad. Please. Go fuck yourself immediately. If not, let’s cut the crap.
I spent damn near four years fumbling around in the dark, talking to literally tens of thousands of people including a job in direct sales. To get to a point where I now feel (in some ways) extraordinarily socially confident and like I can be a source of strength and stability for others.
Good fucking night. And thanks to all the people who have helped me and been patient. It could have very easily gone in a different and much less desirable direction (self-harm etc).
