7 Mantra for a Happy Marriage
Modern marriages are usually unhappy marriages. Err…You heard me right. Why? That’s another topic but how can we save our marriages from conflicts and nitpicks. What makes a happy marriage? Here goes. I read a quote the other day and something clicked me as I read it.
“Friends are a strange, volatile, contradicting yet sticky phenomenon. They are made, crafted. Shaped, molded, created by focused effort and intent. And yet, true friendship, once recognized, in its essence is effortless”
Now substitute the word ‘friends’ with ‘spouse’.
“Spouse is a strange, volatile, contradicting yet sticky phenomenon. They are made, crafted. Shaped, molded, created by focused effort and intent. And yet, true companionship, once recognized, in its essence is effortless”
Friendship is the elixir that will work like magic for your relationship. For those patriarchal oriented men who believe in being a master to their wives and those women who think that the success criteria for a newlywed girl is to please each and every member of the family, let alone the husband, this is for you to read!
So people! “daba kay rakhna” is no rule of thumb for a successful married life and this goes for husband, wife and the meddlers who offer such advice to the newlyweds.
EXPECTATIONS — THE KEY TO HAPPY MARRIAGE
Oh my! They greatly limit the relationship goals. Trust me! Expectations are limitless and there’s no reverse gear either. Slow down the pace of expectations, try to give more and expect less of a return, believing that what goes around comes around too. If you forgive and let go this time, the spouse will surely surprise you next time, in a good way of course. That’s what friends do right?
GIVE THEM SPACE
Cut them some slack. Let them be. Everyone needs some solo-time. Specially you ladies! Don’t take it personally, thinking, “Why is he silent today? Is he changing? Oh god! Does he love me anymore?”, whereas the husband is only under the cumulative effect of office work and financial issue. You are his ultimate confidant and eventually he will speak up. So RELAX! Just make a cuppa coffee for you two, bring him his favorite snack and talk to him randomly about stuff he likes. You would do that for a friend, won’t you?
And by that I mean an ambient communication. A spouse should never decry or rebuke openly in front of anyone, not even in front of your kids. Talk about issues that are hurdling between you two and never ever keep a grudge in your hearts. Express your love for your spouse often. Speak kind words. WALK THAT EXTRA MILE to make it a blossoming relationship.
Empathy for a friend? Family? Colleague? Dozens of Facebook statuses empathizing for worldwide catastrophes. Why not your spouse? They are actually the most deserving candidates for your empathy and compassion. That said, lowering expectations may clear off the vapors of selfishness that may at times blind us.
The culprit! Succumbing to your ego can bring your relationship down to the rock bottom.(some simple word here) of any relationship. Ego is that kind of sound proof, emotion proof and a blinding shield that can never let you see the other side of the fence.
Before judging your spouse, do a self-analysis. Focus more on your flaws and rectify yourself. There’s a possibility that you might be watering the roots of conflict. Few of your actions might cause your spouse to react harshly and set the relationship on bad terms. Keep a check on your tongue. Freedom of speech doesn’t justify rudeness and cussing. The wife should see if it’s her attitude, careless behavior or poor hygiene that’s making the husband repel from her. The husband should also fix their short temper, crude language or kinked behavior that is making her to drift off.
If the husband thinks that the neighbor’s wife is more beautiful, he doesn’t know she has an ugly heart.
If the wife thinks that her friend’s husband is more caring, she may not know that he is a womanizer.
Love your spouse for who they are. Comparison only burns the heart. You don’t know the black holes and pains of those who you desire to be or to be with.
Work one by one on each of these seven tips and you will definitely feel the ethereal positivity grooming your relationship with your spouse. BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS! And remember! A happy married life is the favorite substrate for Satan to feed on. Beware of his sly tactics.
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