7 Parenting Tips for best Child Development
Kids these days are smart. It can be challenging parenting kids who can easily outsmart their parents. However the fact that only positive parenting can raise positive kids requires a great deal of tolerance and perseverance; and there is no greater joy than to see them grow into responsible and compassionate human beings. Let us share with you some globally preached and practiced parenting tips, very compatible with Indian parenting style that come in handy while taming those little balls of energy.
TAKE CHARGE BUT BE FLEXIBLE
“You can play your game once you are done with your homework”
“Which vegetable do you want to eat for lunch today?” instead of “You must eat your broccoli”
“You can come with us to visit Aunt Angela and can join your friends later” instead of “you should drop your plan and come with us”
Good parenting is to say it with a stern yet loving tone.
Be the boss. Let them know that there are certain rules that are to be followed around. Children are curious beings, looking for limits to conquer and they just stop at nothing. It’s your responsibility to set boundaries so they can still try to be as independent as they can, explore and have fun within safe limits. Never clip their wings.
However, be flexible. Adopt the democratic bossy style rather than the authoritative style. Being authoritarian in all aspects of parenting raises either an obstinate hard headed kids or a timid unassertive personality. Sadly, typical Indian parenting is authoritative; however you need to condition, twist and mold the rules according to your child’s psychological demands and personality traits. Imposing blindly will turn them into rebels. For that you also need to condition your ego.
CONNECT AND COMMUNICATE
“Sweetie I can’t understand why you are crying, you have to tell mama and mama will fix the problem” good parenting requires to say this instead of getting frustrated on their tantrums.
“How was your school? What was special about today?”
The only way to correct them is to first connect. Constant firing of ‘NOs’ in parenting without explaining to them the logic behind it will lead to uncompromising and stubborn headed children. Connecting is the best parenting tip to gain their trust and promote child development. Spare an exclusive ‘their time’ for them daily. Put your phones away, play with them, ask at least 3 questions about their day, joke and laugh with them, make warm memories. If you are a super busy parent then just engage them with your chores; let them give you a helping hand in the kitchen or you can exercise together.
“Put the laundry in the basket” instead of “Don’t leave out the laundry on the floor”
“You have to say nice words to your friend” instead of “Don’t use bad words for your friends”
Disciplining is not punishing. It means using a proactive approach to guide them about acceptable behaviors and learning self-control. Make your statements loud and clear and use repetition with positive tone. Instruct them to avoid name-calling, hurtful teasing, bullying and lying. Also, let go of the smaller things like what to wear and how to sit. Choose your battles wisely as children can’t absorb every instruction. Putting them into a routine from the earliest age is another way to discipline your child. Make strict routine for naps, night’s sleep and meal times.
TEACH THEM TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONS
“It’s OKAY to cry, you will feel better”
“What made you angry? Take a deep breath and drink water”
Every parent has to bear the trials of tantrums during child development. Just DON’T try to come up with immediate ways to stop them from crying. Instantly bribing them with an Ipad or chocolates is a bad parenting style and will never earn your child an opportunity to self-sooth and deal with emotional meltdowns. Let them find solutions to their problems. This parenting tip will teach them self-reliance and resilience. But be there to hold them, hug them and when it’s over talk it out with them. Avoid the triggering factors like hunger, overtiredness, agitation etc. Aggressive kids need a chunk of extra parental love and counseling. This emotion should be dealt with and conditioned at a very early age, as early childhood aggression has been linked with adulthood aggression.
DON’T COMPARE, COMPLIMENT MORE
“The neighbor’s child scored better grades”
“Uncle Ben’s kid can swim better than you”
“She’s 6months younger to our child and is so coherent”
Beware! You are putting their self-esteem into jeopardy. You are killing their originality and uniqueness. The only comparison in good parenting that you can do is to compare them with who they were yesterday and how have they improved since.
“I saw how you helped your little sister building blocks, that was terrific”
“You helped granddad in sorting his laundry today; that was a wonderful gesture”
Or praise them in front of their father saying how well they behaved today. Parental positive attitude is the soil for nurturing and boosting self-worth in children. Never belittle them. Hakeem Luqman, the greatest Hakeem of all times once said,
“Love is the cure to all ailments; if it doesn’t work, increase the dose”
LET THEM ENJOY FREE TIME
“Wow! I didn’t know he could sing so well”
“He is remarkable in arranging and assembling his toys”
Creativity and innovation is the product of free time. Surrounding kids with gadgets, Ipads and games will let the hidden talents wilt inside them. Parenting by constant sensory stimulation and reasoning games are helpful in learning and cognition; however if they get bored just let them be. Dealing with boredom is itself simulative as it compels them to use their imagination, creativity and aptitude. This parenting tip will discover new things about your child.
HAPPY PARENTS RAISE HAPPY CHILDREN
A widely accepted fact is that marital stability and parenting style determine a lot about a child’s behavior and his future insecurities. Depressed mothers with negative parenting styles have been shown to respond mutely to their child’s needs. Therefore focus on your attitude too, nurture your marriage, and acknowledge your weak spots. Get a time-out for yourself, halt the monotonous and rather stringent parenting style, take a break and move away for a while. Never backlash or use harsh words in anger.
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